When I try to explain The Queen's
family, I find myself using terms I don't necessarily like. Calling
The Queen "the Master" as in "the Master of his
family," I'm okay with that. It's when I get to describing the
1st through 3rd classes that I start to struggle. It think it's
quickly obvious to someone who understands BDSM who is more dominant
or more submissive. Take Simon and Tommy. While The Queen collared
Tommy first, when it comes to talking about the two men, I habitually
say "Simon and Tommy" because Simon is certainly the more
dominant of them- there is actually some comments (most by The Queen)
in "Gates of the Garden: Book Two" about this very fact.
Then in a series of "for the blog fiction," I had Abrecan
very confused when Tommy
wanted Abrecan to take the "top" or "dominant"
position in engaging in anal intercourse; Abrecan, a fourth class
slave at this point, couldn't imagine being in the "top"
position. Admittedly "top" as it's used in the gay culture
and the BDSM culture are often a very different thing. The beautifully
delicate Iona says, when Vala is allowed to ask questions of the
whole stable before she's collared in "Out of the Night: Book
One," that she always wants to stay under The Queen-
metaphorically, although I can imagine physically is good sometimes
too. :D
So I type that and think of my own
reality. I'm so not a switch. I can't imagine doing what any first
through third class slaves do. I am a submissive. Period. I've tried
to switch twice that I can think of and both where horrible failures.
1) For some reason, Tom thought I'd be
able to dom him somehow for a live sex web streaming thing while he
and I were "on a break." I blamed it on still feeling
uncomfortable about my body after having given birth to my son, but I
can still picture him laying against the wooden rack, waiting for me
to bind his wrists, and it felt so very wrong.
2) Ex husband. He was trying to hard to
meet my BDSM needs. He tried domming; I laughed at him. He asked me
to try domming him; I laughed, but in another way. Oh, I could do it,
but I didn't enjoy it. At all. I only made it through the experience by playing a nasty femdom from porn.
Then there's the occasional question-
often enough looking at my Master if He's there (and His 6'6"
body to my 4'11" body)- "do you ever switch?" I'm
either trying to hold in my laughter to be polite or I laugh openly
at what sounds super ridiculous to me. But then I simply have no
interest. I don't want to switch roles, thankful to all I find holy
that my Master has no desire to switch. Even if we ever find "Ms.
Right" and He actually wants to engage in BDSM with her, I don't
hope for any "first girl" thing as if we were working
toward a BDSM stable or leaning on Gorean terms. If anything, I know
there's always that part of me that hungers to find the Domme who is
attractive to both my Master and I, as an equal (as in no power
exchange) to Him and maybe a secondary dominant to me. Ah, but Ms.
Right of any sort is a dream and so for the moment, I can keep
switching in my stories. :D
For me, I am a natural submissive. I had a cop boyfriend who was also a submissive but we are talking 30 years ago. I didn't even understand the concept of submission and he wanted me to Domme him. HAHA. Think again. Even back then, I couldn't imagine what on earth he expected me to do. Collar him and ride him around on all fours? It was laughable at the time and so we didn't last. I modeled a character, Detective Cassidy Ryan, after my submissive cop boyfriend. It was simple for me to understand (in hindsight) who Gary/Cassidy is... just a man who has to be in total control all day and needs to give it up at night (submit).
ReplyDeleteaww at Cassidy. I do think there are probably people who can do somewhat like what my 1st through 3rd level slaves do in my series. I just know I'm not one of them. although I think in part we can get caught up in what it should look like. One thing I've worked with through my character of Iona- be watching with her, I think you'll enjoy it- is that she doms in a way very different from the stereotypical "lick my boot" Domme. But yeah, even that, doesn't turn me on, thinking to do it.
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