This blog will contain...
...profanity, sexually explicit dialog andadult imagery.
If you are under 18 and/or offended by this...

Thanks fiona, from "Sir Q and Me" for the warning message that just makes me melt. :)

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

#WIPWednesday ... What did Vala tell her diary?

Sharing WIPs (works in progress) can be so very fun! On this lovely blog hop, enjoy a bunch of authors sharing excerpts of what they're working on- get ready to add some great books to your TBR, once the author publishes :) Although occasionally you may find an author sharing a published work. Give 'em a break- these may just be roughly edited- but please do leave a comment! We authors know we're going in a good direction.

After the tension of the knife play, the vaginal fisting, hair pulling and all the wondrous hardcore BDSM that The Queen and Vala enjoyed last week, I decided to change directions this week. Of course, I still managed to be naughty :D. One theme of the whole serial is Vala's training to become the slave The Queen wants. As part of that training, he utilizes the tool of having her writing once a week in a diary that he reads and usually discusses with Simon. At this point, we're about 1/3 of the way into "The Beginning of Knowledge: Book Four."

Dear Diary,
Well, I'm at the end of my second week in the stable and I can't imagine feeling any more wonderful than I do. I can't imagine how much more I'll be learning before my training is done, not to say my learning will be over just because my official training period is.

It was very nice to have my Lady Iona leading my lessons a few days this week. I've enjoyed experiencing her style of teaching. She tends to be less hands-on than The Queen, seeming to prefer instructing with verbal guidance. She also tends to be more laid back. Maybe it's just 'cause Iona's a mom. I would think that, more often than not, giving birth turns on motherly instincts in women; I sure hope so or I have NO business ever having kids.
I wonder what it would be like if The Queen and Iona led a lesson together; I suppose I'll find out before my training's done.

Speaking of The Queen and Iona leading a lesson together, it was crazy to hear the tone of voice Iona used with The Queen when he interrupted my lesson on Tuesday! I still can't believe Iona got away with it without punishment, though The Queen did seem quite sincerely apologetic. It was funny how Iona put it about me winning the game. I wonder if that situation was what they talked about on Wednesday when he called Iona to his study.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

#Taboo2sday ... Who is Vala?

8 to 10 sentences (or 100 words for bloggers/reviewers) of taboo erotica. Take a risk with me? :D

I wanted to share a little bit more from my upcoming Vala's Story serial book, "The Beginning of Knowledge: Book Four." The Queen's friend Cara is visiting and she lives her BDSM as a Gorean- click here if you'd like to read my thoughts on how The Queen is like a Gorean. She ends up teaching Vala some about the way Gorean philosophy can be brought into BDSM roleplay. Vala gets confused, upset and The Queen comforts her.

"What are you?"

"Your slave, my Queen," Vala whimpered.

The Queen laid his hand on Vala's throat. "Who does this belong to?"

"You, my Queen."

"And this?" He laid his hand over her mound.

"Ya... you, my Queen," she gasped.

"And this?" He laid his hand over her belly, over the jagged "mine" that lingered there from Monday.

"You! You, my Queen!" Vala panted and writhed against him.

Monday, July 28, 2014

When she will be ready?

So it's common enough that I have people randomly friend me on Facebook and then ask a bunch of questions about BDSM, wanting to understand something. More often than not, I find the questions can be simplified to "Am I the only person like me?" While I've known some people with truly unusual, non-mainstream fetishes, I've never meet someone who was "the only one." On Saturday I had one of those experiences, a person with a fantasy and fear that she was the only one with it. After a bunch of questions- I was so touched when she suggested I should be a counselor- I'd led her to a more realized notion of what she wanted and how to go about getting it.

I struggled with some details in this, especially because we found some of her interests about Christianity take her toward more conservative, more legalistic portions of the religion that I mainly know about as a home educator and as a liberal religious person who disagrees with much of it. Finally, she just seemed to want a paragraph, but I the novelist didn't feel right giving her just that :D. And we have my thoughts on starting from a him and going to a her that is a devout Christian.

Being a very tall and very dominant man, I knew I wanted a tall woman, a tall woman who was also very submissive. You see, I believe that God's natural order decrees that women should be submissive to men. Maybe somehow my parents realized I'd accept their lessons so readily and that's why they named me Adam. I couldn't believe it when I found the woman He'd meant for me.

Lori-Anne has been simply the kindest woman possible since we meant on the Christian Domestic Discipline forum. Her excitement as she learned about Christianity, learned about proper demeanor, and dozens of other things, was palpable even over the Internet. I couldn't help but chuckle at her pleasure at having received her copy of Michael and Debi Pearl's "Created to Be his Helpmeet."

I admit to a load of anxiety when she explained about her history. The fact that she is biologically male was almost too much for a Bible-believing Christian like me. I appreciate the difference that she isn't into being made into a sissy like some kinky male stereotype. I felt such a relief when she told me that she would like to adopt as many children as possible. That alone has allowed me to pray and come to a place of peace.

Lori-Anne didn't want to start video conferencing until after she'd been able to improve her wardrobe; she thankfully agrees on the Godliness of modest dress.

Then one day in our instant messenger conversation, she told me she was ready...

"I want you to be appropriately feminine before we take the next step in our courtship. Remove those incorrect male clothing." I waited for her to obey.

He looked down at his clothing, unsure. After a long moment's silence, he stripped as quick as his shaking fingers could manage. He placed the clothing in a garbage bag that I held toward him.

"I'm glad to see you followed my instruction that you undergo hair removal."

"I wanted to obey, sir," he murmured, his voice raised to a lovely tenor.

"I won't touch you until you are properly dressed," I warned.

He made a small feminine nod, his gaze lowered to the floor; I then noticed his beautifully manicured nails, dressed in a medium pink polish.

"I've lined up the things in proper order. First the panties."

I watched him gaze at the articles of clothing as he moved to the coffee table. I was glad to see the most obvious sign of his masculinity disappear under the suitably modest cotton panties. Then she moved on to the prosthesis that I had lucked into finding online; I struggled at first because of what I felt was a lack of moral character on the website, due to the other products they sold. I wanted to watch and I didn't want to. I finally turned away.

He must have struggled mostly in silence, but after a moment, he murmured, "I hope it doesn't displease you, but I moved onto the second pair of panties, sir."

I looked at him and then the bed- both the prosthesis and the second pair of panties, the feminine cotton. "I know you hadn't want to ask for anything for yourself, but it's really for me. I found a bra meant for women who've had a mastectomy. It will give you a feminine chest."

He slipped the bra on and quickly fastened the clasp. With the wave of my hand, he moved on to the tan full slip.

"I hope you like the dress. I thought it would look pretty on you." I lifted my gaze to his face just in time to see his demure focus returned to the floor. I held in a gasp as the fabric went up in the air and then slid downward to show the womanly frame that matched the mind I knew online. I couldn't bear to look as the cap and then the beautiful deep brown wig going on her head, but I knew they were. I crossed the bed to pick up the modest snood I'd found. I needed to further impress modesty on her.

"Lori-Anne, turn around so I can put your hair in this snood. Once we're married, I'm the only man I want seeing your hair, whether it be wig or your natural hair."

"Yes, sir," she murmured before turning her back to me.

I gathered up her hair, enjoying the feel of it moving through my fingers, knowing that Paul was right to say that women should cover their heads. I pulled the elastic band up around her head, leaving some wisps of bangs free. I took her by the shoulders and turned her back to me. I slid a delicate promise ring onto her left ring finger.

"Now you are ready for us to pray," I announced before handing her a small, white leather Bible. "In two months, my second wife-to-be should be ready for my family.

"Yes, sir," Lori-Anne murmured, smiling because Adam had judged her ready.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Katherine Deane visits with her "The Coach's Discipline"

What a fun book- I've read snippets so far but can't wait to read it- I'm so glad Katherine could come visit my blog with her wonderful and unusual spanking romance. And I pass my blog to her...

This is a special scene for me. We have already met Claire as the potential submissive who doesn’t do well in confrontational settings. But we are also about to learn how much she despises terms of endearment. It’s definitely a source of confliction for her. Here’s her first official meeting with her antagonist, Morgan. J

She was stretching with the rest of the team when a shadow came over her. She squinted up into the sun to see a beautiful blonde, in matching lavender jog bra and shorts, scowling at her. She could have been on the cover of Runner’s World.
“Hi, I’m Claire.” She moved over, making room for the other woman. “Would you like to join us?”
The blonde sat next to her, and gave her a saccharine fake smile. “Why thank you, sweetie,” she said in a very southern accent, and lifted her nose.
She tensed, knowing this woman was casually letting her know that she did not approve of her presence. She abhorred terms of endearment, like sweetie, honey, and darlin’. Especially from other women. Her roommate did it occasionally, being a southern belle, and having it as part of her vocabulary. But Jen tried not to do it too often once she’d found out how much it irked her. And when people she barely knew used them, they came across so condescending and “I’m better than you,” and so overly familiar, she found herself shuddering in revulsion.
She forced a smile, “Actually, it’s Claire. I’d appreciate it if you’d call me Claire.” She heard the collective inhales of several of the other women from the group.
“Sure thing, sweetie.” The blonde said, tossing her hair.
They stared at each other, neither one willing to look away first. She gnashed her teeth, kicking herself for not knowing what to say. God, she hated confrontation, but she didn’t want to let some beauty queen push her around either.
“All right ladies,” Nick interrupted the stare off. “Now that we have all been introduced.” He gave Claire and Morgan pointed looks.
She felt her cheeks warm, when he met her gaze, and looked down at her legs quickly.


Saturday, July 26, 2014

#SeductiveSnS ... A gaggle of Patricia Logan reviews- MM BDSM

Seductive Studs and Sirens... a blog hop for LGBT romance, erotica, and erotica romance... 150 words of love from a non-heterosexual perspective. Enjoy my post and then check out the other hoppers with the links below.

So I didn't manage to write the reviews of all 3 Patricia Logan books that I meant to review- darned Canadian TV (catching up on "Degrassi"- normally teen-mom bonding, but I was like 5 episodes behind. However, a major plot this season is a girl who gets black-out drunk and is sexual assaulted by two boys... yeah, I'm a rape survivor so it's been hard- didn't manage the 3rd review I'd planned.)

My first 5 star review is for "A Very Good Year"- 2nd in Patricia's "Westburg series," focusing on stories set in her fictional city Westburg, Texas. You can read the full review here on Goodreads.

The second is for "Hot Summer Hogs," a short story that includes 3 characters (Cade and Jake Littlebear and Zachary Teak) from other series of hers. You can read the full review here on Goodreads.

If you return next week for Seductive Studs and Sirens, I'll be reviewing "Verified Kill," 1st in "The Assassins" series and Anastasia Vitsky's "Becoming Clissine."

Friday, July 25, 2014

The importance of self-identity

So Emily Tilton suggested it would be interesting to read posts about how my perspective on life and the lifestyle of BDSM- as someone who lives in BDSM, I admit that made me shudder just a bit, like a GBLT person being told their sexuality is a choice- and today is the first. As I've been doing in past weeks, I'm sharing the link to Saturday Spankings for your spanking reading enjoyment this weekend; I'll probably read to, but I've been having to cut back a bit as my Master has been trying to deal with some serious temper tantrums and bipolar madness on my part.

The GLBTQI+ or "Quiltbag" Pride Flag

I have known transgender people who, while they have to some point transitioned their gender from what they were assigned at birth, they don't identify as "trans." Sadly I had never seen that choice of identity label given respect in print until I started reading Julia Serano's "Excluded." I'd never thought of it until I was talking to a friend the other day, but I prefer the words I use to explain my sexual and relational identity- queer, poly, and kinky- because it's uncommon that a person reads/hears my identity without asking to have at least one of those words defined.

I've been thinking about "queer," about all the reasons I prefer it to "bisexual." I had a bunch of thought after reading Julia's thoughts about identity terms and bi-invisibility and -phobia. While I don't anymore see the identity of "bisexual" as reinforcing the gender binary (of male/female, which I don't agree with), as an identity as a sexual person who lives outside the mainstream, bisexual feels inadequate to me.

While this isn't the Leather Pride Flag, I appreciate how the Leather & Grace UUs For BDSM Awareness symbol incorporates the Leather Pride colors and the Unitarian Universalist symbol the chalice.
Here are two links I want to share from the Unitarian Universalist Association- the national organization of my religion; here is the page for bisexual identity and here is for queer identity. If you decide to go read these two pages, I'll tell you that definitions 2 through 4 of "queer identity" make it feel most right to me. Queer is so much more inclusive and transgressive of sexual, gender, and relational boxes that just don't encompass my reality. I am proud not to be in the mainstream as much as possible, even in things like being married to a man, I transgress things by being attracted to people other than my husband... who is also my Master.

Now I want to point out my phrase "sexual and relational" identity. Without getting into a nature-versus-nurture debate, I believe the relationship forms and who we fall in love with should be less determined by "society" than by a somewhat nebulous "what feels right" to each person, as long as everyone is consenting and no one is permanently injured. I talk about this to bring poly (as in polyamorous) and kinky (as in BDSM practitioner) into the conversation. If "queer" answer "who" I might be involved with romantically and sexually, poly and kinky answer things like "how many," "in what ways," and "how."
Polyamorous Pride Flag

However, as gay people have fought to have their lives acknowledged outside of who they have sex with, being poly and kinky affects my life "outside of the bedroom" too. I have had people tell me that "I am a lifestyle submissive" is "talking about sex," while I argue that for me, it's a statement of identity as a person might say "I am a lesbian." Something that's sure to make my Master laugh is when I tell Him that someone (usually a person who's never seen me around Him) says they can't imagine me being a submissive; I'm not a doormat, I've only accepted my Master's collar. Although it comes to me, having filled out a BDSM survey online recently, that I've started using "lifestyle submissive," while I really prefer "slave," as the former can be a little easier for a non-BDSM person to deal with than the latter.

In terms of my characters, I feel an in-real-life level of import to their identities. This often comes out in anger, irritation when people misgender The Queen based only on his name. Despite that chosen name (he chooses it over his birth name), the pronouns I use with him are always traditionally masculine. True, he experiences "being a man" in his own way, that includes a bisexual/queer identity. I think he's comfortable enough in fluidity that he doesn't question too much- he is who he is.

Of course balancing my surety with The Queen is my confusion with Lady Audrey. I started off thinking she was just a domme friend of his with five submissives of her own. Somewhere along the way, I decided she should be transgender as all my other characters are cisgender. As her back story grew to include a close friendship with The Queen, including being the one to give him that name, I struggled between writing a sensitive (to transgender/sexual people), authentic character and actually writing the character. I used to have a character with a "heavy Scottish brogue," but her dialogue was so difficult that when I decided The Queen's stable was too big, I removed "the Scottish girl"- I didn't want to do that to Lady Audrey.

With Lady Audrey, I've found myself doing a lot of searching on what it means to be a woman. She belongs in this post about self-identity because she identifies as a trans woman; she prefers feminine pronouns.One of the important parts of coming to understand her as a person was given me by Vanessa Clark (her blog can be found here)- basically "she's a woman, treat her as such." I was focusing too much on the "trans" part of Lady Audrey's identity. As I work in books four and five of my Vala's Story serial, I've taken the chance to educate my readers, who may very well be cisgender like me, maybe having read/talked less about non-cisgender issues than I have, as The Queen and Lady Audrey do their best to educate Vala in what it means to Lady Audrey to be a trans woman.

I may appear to be a straight, monogamously-married woman if you see me with my Master. If we're among "vanillas," I often don't use His title, as is often His preference. If you catch Lady Audrey on a "good day"- she's just started taking hormones after having "lived as a woman" for nearly two decades and any transgender person can tell you, the medical side of transitioning can make some days difficult in terms of how others "read" your gender- you won't have any reason to think she's anything but a stereotypically tall high fashion model, unless she decides to come out to you. However both Lady Audrey and I think of ourselves as women... and I believe that is our right to self-identify as such.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

My thoughts on "The Rich Dom"

The rich dom, he who is a titan of industry- because he's always a he although I'd appreciate titles including rich dommes in the comments' section. He has a huge heart (and sex drive) for his darling submissive woman. E.L. James wasn't the first to use this trope in a romance and certainly won't be the last. It sometimes is with extreme irritation that I have to deal with this thought, given that I have my own rich dom in The Queen, the Master as the head of everything in my Vala's Story serial.

When I started writing Vala's Story, the explosion of BDSM erotic romance hadn't happened yet. For a queer, poly, kinky person like me, there were only the "BDSM classics," like Anne Rice's erotica, de Sade & Sacher von Masoch, "On Our Backs" magazine. Sure, there were things like "Penthouse Letters," but those were made for the straight male to enjoy. Even romance failed me because those were targeted at straight (often white, middle class), monogamous women.

When I first created The Queen as a very rich, I wanted to imagine Tom rich and able to fix all our problems. He who was the original basis for The Queen was living in a coffeehouse while I suffered a sort of mundane neglect from my parents, after years of serious emotional abuse- I can still hear my mother: "This isn't for publish." Well, fuck you. You've never apologized for not supporting me when I needed you. I've gone off on a tangent though. Things weren't nearly as bleak for me as they are for Mearr/Vala at the beginning of "Out of the Night: Book One," but they weren't good either- my mother was only one piece of how my world as a young adult just wasn't right.

Then as the story morphed from birthday gift for Tom into an erotic serial, the size of The Queen's stable and his "white knight" complex, the need for him to be insanely rich was confirmed. How else was he to feed and home everyone he loved? How else could he make their lives better than when their lives had become intertwined?

from the soon-to-be-released "Gates of the Garden: Book Two" Iona explains to Vala in the kitchen:
"Counting The Queen, there's nineteen of us, and you make twenty. Then when Erik and Brenna are here, we're twenty-two. That's a lot of people."

The immediate difference I see between the "rich dom" trope, how it's normally used is that all that money goes to a crazy lifestyle for one dom/sub pairing- The Queen uses the money not only on his large family. Although he does engage in the very trope-appropriate donating of money to causes for which he cares. Not that I have anything against monogamy as a way of living; it just seems horribly irresponsible to me to have all that money being spent mostly on two people. Even if I was comfortable writing monogamy, I'm not sure I would be comfortable giving two people as much richness, as I've given The Queen and his family.

Be watching for "Skipping Down the Primrose Path: Book Three" to come; there's one scene in which I truly show a joy in doing for others. I enjoyed showing off The Queen's wealth, yes, but the others' joy is the focus.

So while neither good nor bad, I have my billionaire dom, a white knight, who in some ways is the very archetype of the perfect rich guy in a romance novel.