This blog will contain...
...profanity, sexually explicit dialog andadult imagery.
If you are under 18 and/or offended by this...

Thanks fiona, from "Sir Q and Me" for the warning message that just makes me melt. :)

Friday, March 29, 2013

Figging, by Natasha Knight

Joelle asked me if I would write a post on Figging and so here I am, happily approaching a topic which is fairly new to me but intriguing all the same. I'm actually not even sure how we got to talking about figging anymore - I mean, how does it come up in conversation, right? Oh, I was also going to research the use of nettles in BDSM play but haven't had a chance yet so if any of you know about that, please share with me, will you?

First the disclaimer - I am not an expert, nor do I pretend to be, but I will happily share what I've learned. That said, I'll start with a little history. We'll get the boring bit out of the way fast J

This comes right out of Wikipedia (look up gingering) and you know that's always accurate. An 1811 dictionary states: "to feague a horse is to put ginger up a horse’s fundament, and formerly, as it is said, a live eel, to make him lively and carry his tail well. It is said, a forfeit is incurred by any horse-dealer’s servant, who shall show a horse without first feaguing him."[2] Ginger is an irritant, and when administered to a horse, the horse will carry its tail high and generally act somewhat restless and more lively. In the past, the purpose was often to make an older horse behave like one that was younger, or to temporarily liven up a sick or weakened animal.

But I’m not going to talk about horses here.

There was some discussion that in Victorian days, girls that were to be caned sometimes had a ginger root inserted into the anus to keep them from clenching their buttocks during punishment. The ginger root, when inserted, causes a stinging sensation that lasts about twenty minutes. When the buttocks are squeezed, it releases more of its juices, causing even greater discomfort and thus forcing the recipient of the cane strokes to relax her bottom and take her punishment. Not sure how true it is, but definitely an interesting visual.

I've experienced it once or twice myself but I have a fairly high pain tolerance and have to say I find it somewhat pleasurable. And it's not just the physical aspect for me: it's the psychological.

In "Taught to Kneel" (Kindle edition), as a part of Gabrielle's punishment, Julian has Gabrielle bend over and present her bottom to him. He then inserts the ginger root into her bottom - safely of course - carved so it won't disappear in there. That would kind of take the sexy right out of things. Anyhow, to present yourself in so vulnerable a position and have someone insert the root (or anything else for that matter) inside your bottom is humiliating. It gives someone power over you and for me, this is what's sexy about figging. I feel like I want to talk about this part of things, about why the idea of submitting like this to someone makes my belly feel all funny, and other things feel all warm, but I think that's another post.

So how do you prepare the ginger? Well, first go buy some at the local supermarket. The fresher the better and the more solid and bigger the piece the better. Keep it in the fridge until you're ready to use it. To prepare it, peel the root and carve it in the shape of a butt plug where the sphincter will lock around the tapered portion of the plug. Very important - truly. Rinse the ginger to get all the peel off and make sure the tip is nicely rounded. You can keep it in the fridge if you're not going to use it right away, but really, who's that organized?

Once you're ready to use it, have the recipient take the position (very nice all by itself for both parties). Don't use any lubricant as it will create a barrier so that the juices of the ginger won't be able to work their stingy magic. Insert carefully and watch for a few moments. When the wiggling begins, well, it's working. Have fun.

You can also use a small round of ginger (peeled again) at the clitoris or a similarly carved one inside the vagina, but for me, figging is something reserved for when a little humiliation is called for.

I'm pretty sure this isn't new to most of you, but if it is, I hope I've intrigued you to try it. I'd love to hear comments and thoughts on figging both regarding the physical sensations and the mental aspects of this practice. The BDSM Group over at Goodreads has an active discussion going on about this which is interesting to have a peek at. And like I said above, if you know anything about nettles, I'd love to learn myself.

And from Joelle- while I'm sure the pictures might be interesting, please no pictures of pretty female asses with ginger stuck up them- at not in the comments section :D. I'm not entirely sure if that's within the rules for blogspot lol.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

The Queen speaks of love and BDSM

Now in my continuing series about how love can look in BDSM, that indeed, even if it doesn't look like love to others, there is often love in BDSM, I've begged to The Queen to step up and give a male view on it.

I love you, all of you, every last bit of you.

At first glance with BDSM, it is all too easy to miss the loving care with which a Dominant will lavish on a devoted submissive. Especially when the care isn't what we have been taught to expect.

Let me ruminate on Mearr, then Vala once she decided on the new name she wanted, to mark her new life, to place herself firmly in my life and push away her tortured past. Oh, that sick little female I brought home from that coffeehouse. Even then, holding her in my arms, I could not help but look down on her and feel my heart expand. Yeah, I am a sucker for a person who needs me. I so enjoyed giving her that first both, watching her relax as it became slowly obvious to her that she could trust me not to violate her. My hands sliding over her wet skin as I helped her. Ah. I do not understand why more male dominants do not write erotica. Then as the days built into weeks into months as she got healthier, as I helped her move through the steps of her legal name change. Just to look up from my desk when I was busily at work and to see her smiling at me with a very similar, contented, doting love as Tommy. It almost startled me when I realized how deeply I had fallen in love with her. Then when she finally said those words to me. "I love you, my Queen" were the sweetest words to hear in her voice, although when she hesitantly pushed through just to say she thought she was falling in love with me.

Now despite what she'd seen in the loft of Simon, Tommy, and I interacting, the books I'd provided her, what she'd seen in life of BDSM, I knew it was going to be entirely different for Vala when she made the move from being in recovery at my loft to coming to my mansion, being collared, becoming my slave. Sure, I always saw what was in her- I was even half waiting for what happened between her and Raanan when I left them at home alone- but I knew she didn't. It took time, patience, and care on my part to help her find her strength. But how I love her strength. How I love seeing her pride in her body, both for her own sake and how it pleases Iona and I. Love at the loft, love at the mansion, love before and after collaring. Of course that first week after her collaring was so very difficult. While I knew how important the security and the learning of sleeping on a bondage board would be for her, I fought with myself if her nightmares would overwhelm her; I do not remember when my nightmares finally lessened, but I am pretty sure it took both Tommy and Simon's bodies pressed against me as we slept before that happened. I so enjoyed how she came to love the pain play, the subjugation, and how her eyes would glow with love in response. The catch of her breath when I would look into her eyes and tell her, "I love you, my baby girl."

So yes, the novels are "Vala's Story," but I want to talk about my other sweet slaves. I know many who are monogamists and cannot understand how polyamory works will look at all my slaves- just as people in intimate relationships, not even with the BDSM- and wonder how. Well I am here to say, yes I very much love all them. Certainly not in exactly the same way. Of course, there is sometimes an allowance for "time we have been together." I have not had as much time to build a loving relationship with Chitra (only three months mine when Vala's story starts) as Tommy (my gorgeous, lovable Tommy who I have known since that fateful day when we were thirteen, my slave for fifteen years now.) I think of Tommy's embrace, how it feels when our arms are wrapped around each other. Chitra's sweetness on the day her formal training period ended was so overwhelming. How great her love shown in her very being when I made love to her, enjoyed her body beneath mine. Of course love is not just about physical intimacy. I think on Simon especially in how he manages little and even big details. How he prepares every meal, decides what food will come into the mansion. The best though is his delight in pleasing me. I love watching the myriad of tiny changes to his posture when he prepares a new chocolate dessert and after I take the first taste, smiling with the simple pleasure of chocolate and how hard he worked to please me.

But, and this works in speaking of all my slaves, one thing I love above all is doing whatever each needs for aftercare, especially after a scene that triggered sub space. First it is beautiful to reach that point with each other, where everything is just so right. Whether it is tiny Iona I am talking about or my sturdy little cub Gaelan, I love that trusting, shaking submissive body against mine. Moments when eye contact is made and the totality of their love and submission is presented so innocently to me.

Yes, I love them all deeply. And I treasure their love. Whether that treasuring is shown with a new outfit, a meal, or a caning- after all, Tommy does love to be on the receiving end of those beautiful instruments of pain.