Warning

WARNING

This blog will contain...
...profanity, sexually explicit dialog andadult imagery.
If you are under 18 and/or offended by this...
THIS IS NOT THE BLOG YOU ARE LOOKING FOR

Thanks fiona, from "Sir Q and Me" for the warning message that just makes me melt. :)

Friday, September 27, 2013

The existence of multiple BDSM roles within one person


One thing that strikes me in talking about my "Vala's Story" series, if I'm talking to a person who even "gets" polyamory, sometimes getting a person to understand that different ways of reacting to different people can exist within one person. I found myself ruminating on this as I watched the "Sister Wives" season finale; of course there the conversation revolved around plural marriage as practiced by some Mormons not of the LDS majority. At various points, Kody Brown (the husband) was asked things that amounted to "are your relationships with your wives the same?" "Do you have a favorite?" "Are they all equal?" etc etc. My polyamorous mind- as well as Kody's comments- labeled at least some of these questions as mono-normative bias.

While it's not entirely necessary you read this to understand where I'm heading, this'll help you see what provoked this post. I posted this for #SatSpanks on 9/13. An excerpt from my first book "Out of the Night: Book One," I showed a snippet from Tommy preparing Prisca for The Queen by binding and paddling her first. It was the comment left by Kathryn R. Blake that got me thinking.

"Hmm, it's never wise to make fun of the head alpha male. Punishment is almost guaranteed to follow, and it's usually intended to make the transgressor very sorry for her lapse. Great snippet."

See, if you haven't read "Night" or the snippet, let me give you a little fact- as part of the punishment, Tommy reminds Prisca of the fact that it was The Queen- the Master over the whole stable- that she'd most displeased.

Now he hasn't had it all along (in fact in my WIP "The Book of Meeting" I have a note when he probably started it) but by the time of Vala's Story, The Queen has 4 levels of hierarchy within his stable of slaves and on the walls (and in the books too) are diagrams of how the authority flows. If you look at the top of this page, you'll see the hierarchy as it's stated in "Gates of the Garden: Book Two" and officially becomes in "Skipping Down the Primrose Path: Book Three."

I'm going to put Vala up as an example and explain how the hierarchy affects her interactions with 4 other slaves. Mind, how these 4 slaves interact with each other and The Queen is also affected by the hierarchy.

Iona: As a 3rd class slave, Vala is required to include Iona's title "my Lady" at least once within every sentence spoken, unless allowed otherwise by Iona. In "Gates," the budding romance as well as the fact that Vala is going to be placed in direct submission to Iona is hinted at, then declared by The Queen. However, by The Queen's decree, Vala starts behaving "as if" already paired to Iona before it's official. That means for a closer submission, a closer attention than what Vala might give other 2nd and 3rd class slaves.

Tommy: Of course with Tommy, things are complex. Both Vala and he have memories of a relaxed vanilla relationship, a romance in The Queen's loft as she recovered. However, I imagine that even then his status as a 1st class slave in the stable was in Vala's awareness. As a 1st class, the only person on the same footing is Simon, who in fact is just slightly less dominant over Tommy than The Queen is. "1st class" means that he has authority over the whole of stable. Once Vala's collared by The Queen, Tommy gains the same respect as Iona, receiving "my Lord" unless Tommy allows otherwise. However :D Tommy by right of his position is able to contradict Iona and Vala is expected to obey him.

If these 5 people were in a room together, Vala would give Tommy the most attention, Iona the second most, Mandisa the third most, and finally Chitra the least, unless Chitra had been allowed to speak. Although given quiet from the switches, all dominant over her to some point, Vala might pay attention to Chitra as a living example from which to learn.

Mandisa: Mandisa is a 2nd class slave- remember that 2nd and 3rd class slave don't necessarily have more authority than each other, but 2nd class is noted by having 2 4th class slaves in direct submission. While Mandisa's roughness scares Vala, the girl is required to show the respect of Mandisa's title, at all times, unless allowed otherwise.

All 3 "upper class" slaves command Vala's eye contact, attention when they are speaking, when she's allowed to speak to them, unless she's bound in a position that makes that impossible.

Chitra: Being a 4th class slave as well, these women owe each other no particular respect beyond common courtesy.  Although as a submissive with more experience than Vala, she does give Chitra a level of respect as someone she can learn from.
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So after those deep thoughts, I want to mention a spiritual, social justice action called Silent Sunday that's happening this Sunday, September 29th. If you've been on my blog before, it's possible you've seen my mention Leather & Grace UUs for BDSM Awareness. Unitarian Universalism as a faith movement aims to be inclusive of many marginalized identities. Kinky UUs have not always found it such. Please read about the issues facing us UU kinksters and pledging your support to witness to the silence and other negative experiences that some kinky UU have experienced. In addition to witnessing at bricks-and-mortar UU churches, there is also the option to witness online at the Church of the Larger Fellowship- that's where I'll be :).

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