My history and thoughts on online scene-ing

As a college student, I was introduce to a chat-like thing. It was like iRC but I forget its name. And I got to talk to a women. :D Unfortunately I'd picked the wrong college for me; I should have picked a more urban campus. There were very few women I could approach for sexual activity or relationships. But online chatting opened a new world for me. Of course this was the late 1990s so we didn't yet have large kink communities like Fetlife- and I didn't find the various listserves that I've since read about that were so important for many other kinksters of my age group.

Did I wish my parents were more well off than they actually were! Enough to send me to a private liberal arts college, not well enough to send me there with my own private computer in my room. But I used one of the computer rooms for students. However, I don't think I was the only student going to them to engage in this chatting that sometimes led to cybersex. Of course sometimes it was just chatting, but I was open to it, plus hungry as I was for contact with women who engaged sexually with other women. Yes, this did extend to cybersex- I was more than willing and interested.

I remember one time I got into conversation with this woman about women's gymnastics- while I wasn’t naive enough to think that people never lied about their gender online, I didn't overly think about it as long as the person acted feminine enough for me interest... and well, remember that at the time I had a preference for butches :D. I did gymnastics for a little while as a pre-teen, but I started too late and my parents didn't push me; I just never got very good. But I loved watching gymnastics, especially since "women's" gymnastics is such a misnomer; even back then, a gymnast was a veteran, a has-been in her 20s. But to look at those teen bodies clad in tight spandex bodysuits, to watch the feats of strength and flexibility. Yum! So yes, conversation back and forth got quite sexual before we were even talking as if we were having sex. I was glad for my single room after that- single only because the woman who was supposed to be my roommate ended up giving birth to her baby on the day we moved into the dorms.

The crazy thing, while I did engage in cybersex like that quite regularly, I never really got into BDSM scene-ing online. Remember, I hadn't found the places online that kinksters had made community in? Plus while not being an "old guard" BDSM-er (I'm too young, not male, or gay to have been in that community), I'd found a sort of BDSM community among other teens and 20-somethings who were experimenting with BDSM. So I was doing BDSM "in real life." After I turned 18, I quickly hopped through the steps of "being in college," "dropping out of college," "finding a dom/losing a dom," "getting pregnant, then getting married." I lucked into my Master as a young married woman who was thankfully polyamorous. Since He was local, there was no need to conduct an online long distance relationship. We played a bit through Yahoo messenger when we were still living apart, but it was at most a bit of mental domming when He knew He was going to be seeing me soon.

Today while we're still polyamorous, it comes with its understandings. He doesn't want me engaging in BDSM with others, especially the D/s part. And while I'd still be open to cybersex with women online, I don't specifically go looking for it. After all, writing erotic romance, writing blog posts, I spend plenty of time writing about sexuality. My Master is of a different mind about cybersex and online scene-ing than I am. While I can imagine having a LDR with a woman that's mostly if not totally online, He says "I'm old-fashioned. I still think part of dating means going out sometimes."

Online scene-ing is on my mind at the moment because it's figuring in largely to my Nanowrimo project this year. Josephine is interested in age play and her Master isn't at all. She sets up a profile on a kinky dating site and Mara contacts her. 5 hours apart, they get talking online. Both women are figuring out what age play means to them and they do that in chat conversations that range from what's going on, teasing each other about their day, to explicit online scene-ing (like "I'm imagining your naked body bent over" type stuff). Although where I'm writing in the story, Mara has come to visit and the scenes of "we're together physically" probably shows I'm not as into the idea of LDR as I'd like to say I am, but it makes sense with the characters I'm writing.

I've been really interested to see the level, the directions I've been able to take these online scenes in the story. It makes me wonder about people who do scene in online chat rooms. Writing as Joey, the age play name that Mara gives to Josephine, I can feel my emotions expand thinking of "Mommy" just as they do when I'm thinking as myself about my Master.

If you'd like to read a little bit of one of these online scenes, please return to my blog tomorrow. For the Seductive Studs and Sirens GLBT blog hop, I'm sharing a little from the first of these online scenes between Joey and "Mommy," as Josephine calls Mara.