This blog will contain...
...profanity, sexually explicit dialog andadult imagery.
If you are under 18 and/or offended by this...

Thanks fiona, from "Sir Q and Me" for the warning message that just makes me melt. :)

Monday, November 18, 2013

Mommy's blog- Mara's on her way to Joey

Nanowrimo is going pretty good for me, if you've been watching the word progress meter on the right side of the page. As I write, I've been thinking more about a variety of things... from age play to sexual education to how the people would work things out in a poly triad. I have various ideas about pacing in the story and how that's affecting the balance of romance, sex, BDSM, age play, and non-sexual scenes in the story. I know for sure that I'm going to break some Nano "rules"- the one that I'm thinking about most is "don't go back and edit." The way writing is going, I find myself skipping to what's the ending, in part to see how many words I get by the time of the "end picture." Then, whether November is over or not, I'll being going back to the beginning and adding scenes to fill out the romance part of the books, as well as adding some scenes, probably some phone sex between Mara and Joey.

This diary entry is written as Mara is driving for a surprise visit to Andrew and Joey. "About 5 hours" of a drive separating them. I picture her drinking a cup of coffee as she writes, before getting back on her way to see her little girl.

Dear, sweet diary...
So I finally stopped for breakfast on the drive down to visit Andrew and Joey. I can't believe in just a few hours I'm going to see my darling girl. These past weeks, getting to know them has been wonderful. And getting to know myself, as "Mommy." I really was such a mixture of emotion when I set out on this quest to find myself as dom, just a little over a month ago. I think Joey and I are mostly playing with her as a young teen. It'll be interesting to see how it goes once I'm there, if she ends up older, younger.

I'm most anxious for interacting with Andrew at the same time as Joey. Our text conversations with him at work have been good, working on a friendship. Hopefully that'll help with processing any feelings of jealousy, if they're even there. I've really valued that, the growing friendship with another dom. I don't know, maybe it's just Andrew's character, but I've never felt such a close friendship with another dom. I love how his domination of Joey enriches their relationship, never makes it seem like BDSM erotica, never lessens his care for her.

A whole week. I can't believe I'm staying for a whole week! And Andrew deciding to make it a surprise for Joey. It'll be nice, as a friend and as a lover (is that the right word here? Dom? Big? I'm not sure.) to help them as Andrew makes the shift from day to midnight shift. I find it so sad that any employer still uses swing shift; it's so very cruel in my opinion. I know it was when Andrew made his first swing to midnights that Joey started sleeping with a stuffed animal; I wonder just how hard the swing is for her? How does Andrew's domination change when He's struggling to change his sleep schedule, really his life schedule?

Any time now, Joey should be receiving my package. I can't help but imagine her opening it, reading the note, and then rushing off to obey. Showering. Okay, I gotta get my head out of the gutter. I nearly masturbated myself raw last night, thinking about that moment of seeing her. Of holding her. I'm unsure now about this whole LDR thing, how it feels, everything. Talking online, talking on the phone, scene-ing in words... and then the occasional visit. Can I live with it? Do I want to live with it? What of Joey and Andrew? He's repeatedly commented on just how much more content Joey is. Because of the LDR? The age play? A woman in her life? None, all of them? I think those will be things to revisit, reconsider after this visit.

I can't wait to see this guest room that she's been working so hard on. She hasn't said anything in wondering about Andrew giving her free reign in the room. I wonder if she's imagined us in that room? Okay, time to finish my coffee and get back on the road. I'll be holding my little girl soon.

Mara. the happiest mommy in the world

UPDATE- for those reading after the fact, here's the link for Mara's next blog entry: http://joellecasteel.blogspot.com/2013/11/mommys-blog-end.html . This link goes to the last of the "Mara's blog" entries; however as of 9/13/2014, I am working to finish "Mommy" and hope to be submitting it to publishers before the year is out.)

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