Thursday, August 1, 2013
My Tendency to Rebellion?
Too funny... I start this with Marilyn Manson's "Para-noir" playing. Supposedly about his failed marriage with Dita Von Teese. I'm not sure it is, don't really care. Yeah, there's a few lines that even get a lip curl out of me as I sing along. Not that the song ever makes me think of my Master :D.
Yes, my tendency to rebellion. I find it amusing- the stereotype of a submissive as a doormat, a beaten down woman. Maybe a woman experiencing domestic abuse, maybe a certain type of submissive fits that stereotype, but not this submissive. I once had a UU minister tell me he couldn't imagine me being submissive because I'm often so decisive when I make a decision.
I forget what book it's in (in Vala's Story), who Tommy is even talking to, but I love at one point where he basically says, "I'm really still a teenager, never had to pay bills, and grow up." I don't remember if he says it, but I'm sure it's implied- "pretty good The Queen takes care of me." Well with my Master, I tend to waver somewhere between Simon and Tommy- I take care of most things (not always perfectly lol) like Simon but behavior-wise, I'm often quite Tommy-I-never-really-grew up. I posted triumphantly in my Facebook status message- "I swear more than my teen." Because I probably do. I mean, just in writing alone; I use ass, cunt, fuck, and all sorts of related words constantly.
I like to joke- without the force of law, it's only a basic politeness that keeps me from telling most people off. Of course, my Master likes to joke that I put things through some "weird Joelle polite filter"- I do that too much, true, especially when being blunt in speech will be more helpful. Master quite enjoyed being at science fiction conventions with me when He first collared me to see me rip into some guy who'd made the mistake of telling me what to do- I can have quite a mouth on me when irritated.
Now my playlist is on to a Rage Against the Machine song. Yup, there's occasional bellows as I sing along with Zack, some rather leftist political chanting going on at points. Don't tell me what the fuck to do. Surprised I'm a submissive yet? :D
It's different with my Master though. I chose to beg His collar, to accept it. But then, He never wanted to break me, to tame me, like The Queen wanting to make Vala better, more than she was.