Love and BDSM- from Cari Silverwood

Cari didn't include any links to her books in this, but I've loved what I've read so I'm sharing her Amazon author page. http://www.amazon.com/Cari-Silverwood/e/B005FW2ZI8/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1366123176&sr=1-2-ent

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Love is such an amazing thing, and yet hard to define and difficult to be sure that it’s the same for every relationship. However, taking a stab at defining it, within marriage love demands respect for your partner, a need to see them unhurt and successful, plus a want to please them and to in turn be respected and protected and sexually desired. Sex is certainly a big part of love within a romantic relationship as it’s the one thing that sets it apart from the other types of love that you might have for a friend or a parent or sibling.

People sometimes look at love within a BDSM relationship as wrong or odd or not truly love. After all, they may think, isn’t one partner bossing the other about and probably hitting them? How can that be love?

Yet there are a lot of marriages out there that have come unstuck and the people within them are barely civil to each other, let alone talking to each other.

And it’s the talking and communicating part that is where everything goes haywire. If you cannot talk to your partner about important, in-depth things, how can you be a team?

In my experience, this is why a BDSM relationship starts out ahead. If you have kinky desires there is no way you will ever get your partner to understand you and your needs unless you talk and talk and talk. Texting, writing and sharing learning experiences are good alternative ways of communicating too.

Sharing your kinks can revitalize a marriage, as long as you are both on the same wavelength. And if you are already there, both knowing you want BDSM from the beginning, you have an even bigger headstart.

One of the important love building blocks, respect, is pretty much a given in a Dominance and submission relationship, and that goes both ways. The Dominant respects the submissive and vice versa.

So right there you have the foundations of a great loving relationship – communication, mutual respect, and an enjoyable sexual relationship. Any successful marriage can have these ingredients, of course, BDSM just makes it easier.

And the S and m stuff, I hear you ask? Bearing in mind that S/m isn’t the only kink that people indulge in, the main thing to remember is that at its most basic, all BDSM activities are consensual. All those involved must desire it and all must be able to stop it if they wish to. It doesn’t matter whether you like being tied up, blindfolded, tickled with feathers, or flogged, it happens because that is precisely what you want.

Love is a glorious added extra that can equally flourish in a BDSM relationship as it can within a relationship without kink.