This blog will contain...
...profanity, sexually explicit dialog andadult imagery.
If you are under 18 and/or offended by this...

Thanks fiona, from "Sir Q and Me" for the warning message that just makes me melt. :)

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Getting Ready for Anal Fun- guest post by Lillian Christiansen

Getting Ready for Anal Fun

By: Lillian Christiansen


If you are a purveyor of professional porn you might have noticed that whenever there is a scene that involves anal sex it is always clean.  In amateur porn and in our own bedrooms sometimes anal sex is a little messy, but it doesn’t have to be.

One of the tricks that porn stars have used for years is the enema. Most use disposable enemas found in the grocery store. The problem with these enemas as well as most preparations for reusable anal enema/douching devices is that they are meant to alleviate constipation; this can mean hours of cramping and not feeling fabulous before you are ready to perform.

There is always the possibility of spontaneous anal sex, which means at times there might be a little mess. When you are planning ahead I have found the ‘Fleet Naturals Cleansing Enema with Aloe™’ is a great choice. It is safe to use everyday and is meant for cleansing and freshening. As always you need to read the directions provided with the product, but I have found this to work perfectly when I know my partner and I will be enjoying some anal play.

Usually I will start my getting ready for anal play before a bath; administering the enema and allowing it to work. Then I take a nice long bath to give my body enough time to relax and to make sure any lingering cleansing fluid has time to work and exit.

Once I am clean and relaxed it is time to get down and play. I keep a high quality lube on hand (Liquid Silk™ is a personal favorite) and my preference is to use lots of lube. For those who practice anal play frequently you might find that you don’t need much lubricant or you can use your or your partners own natural juices instead.  If you are new to anal play or it is more of an occasional treat on your sexual menu, then more lube is better.

There are several “desensitizing” lubricants on the market designed specifically for anal sex, but I find a good lubricant works better. The nerves in the anal passage allow stimulation to feel good when done right; desensitizing these nerves does not improve the experience.  Should you find there is pain or discomfort often it is because of a bad angle, not enough arousal or a lack of lubrication.

Do keep a towel handy, even with the most thorough cleaning and preparation you may still run into a little dark matter. When filming or taking pictures you might want to use a dark sheets since white sheets aren’t ideal for anal play and pictures.

Joelle here- yup, I didn't abandon, but I'm still a little shaky. I did want to add a few comments though. I was glad to see 2 specific things that Lillian mentioned- that for people who engage in anal play recently, less lubricant might be needed- if you notice, I rarely mention lubricant in Vala's Story in part because of that- and also mentioning "desensitizing" lubricants meant for anal play. I share the opinion with several other sex educators that I've discussed this with that the idea of numbing those nerve endings is a bad idea because anal sex doesn't have to hurt and if it does, something needs to change.

I used to use the disposable enema kits but I've since bought myself a cheap set off a website, something like Walgreens, but I forget which now. You can buy more expensive (and probably better) ones off many sex toy websites, but I haven't begged my Master yet for such a purchase. I'm thinking that I want to because sometimes I get a bit of cramping from air getting into the tube because it's cheap.

Lillian gives you a good guide here for starting in anal experimentation  Remember that the characters in my story are all quite a bit past those days of experimentation, or at least have someone experienced teaching them, as The Queen enjoying anal play with Chitra, just a young college student when he collared her.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Anna Kristell visits: "The Road to His Soul"

Joelle, thanks so much for inviting me to be a guest on your blog today! As you know, I have a new release and I’m so excited to tell you and your readers about it. The Road To His Soul is the third book in my Fab Five series from LazyDay Publishing. Crossroad To Love was the first and The Road To Her Heart was the second. There are several more planned in this continuing dramatic romance series. The series begins with four forty-something women, lifelong friends, who are getting together for a week in Dallas. Each of the women is at some sort of crossroad in her life and during that week, with the support of the friendship, three of them are able to choose the fork in the road they’ll take. For one, it won’t be that simple. Along the way, a fifth friend is added to the circle, and none of their lives will ever be the same. Each book begins where the last left off, and in the second book, although the original characters play a part in it, the main focus is on the daughter of one of the women. Book #3, The Road To His Soul, focuses on the son of one of the ladies. My first book was a sweet romance, but as I have slowly begun to get my feet under me as a writer and have begun to feel more at ease with it, I’ve begun to add a little spice. I don’t write erotica, however I’ve had erotica readers read my books and tell me they loved them. One reader says, “Vanilla will never be the same.”
Two and three flame sensual is probably the best way to describe them.

I also write stories that aren’t part of the series, and they are published with Rebel Ink Press.

Here’s a little blurb from The Road To His Soul:

Another ‘Fab Five’ drama and Lizzie’s family isn’t out of the woods yet. This time her son is causing the problems.

Colt Hart and Kendyl Durant have been dancing around a relationship for years. When Colt decides he is ready to give up his days as a player for a serious girlfriend, he finally makes his move, knowing that once he begins a relationship with his sister’s gorgeous blonde friend, there will be no turning back. Also deciding it’s time to think about his future career plans, he leaves his carefree job to accept his dad’s offer to join the family’s advertising agency.

But the night before his first date with Kendyl he arrives at Rex’s office to tell him of his career decision, only to find his dad being put into the back of an ambulance after suffering what appears to be a heart attack.

Blaming himself because his dad has been burning the candle at both ends, Colt believes that if he had accepted his dad’s offer sooner, the heart attack might not have happened. He asks Kendyl to be patient with him. He wants her, but the business has to come first right now. He has to make it up to his family and keep the business going while his dad recuperates. But how long will Kendyl wait?

When they finally get together, the two lovers immediately enter into a sensual relationship. But Colt is called to Texas on business time and time again, and temptations await him there. Kendyl begins to doubt that he will ever be able to commit to her completely, heart and soul. When she decides to give him a wake up call by calling it quits, she hopes to turn things around.

Will it backfire on her and end things for good, as Colt is pursued by other women? Or will he stop dragging his feet and put the ring on Kendyl’s finger?

And here’s an excerpt:

Colt took the stairs rather than the elevator, hoping to blow off some steam before he faced Kendyl. Finding a chair near the door, he watched for her as he thought about everything that had taken place that evening. He had been so happy as he drove to his dad’s office earlier. He had anticipated the joy on his parents’ faces when he told them his news. He had also looked forward to the romantic evening he had planned for Kendyl. Believing she might be the girl for him, Colt had carefully seen to each detail. Now he had to tell her the plans had changed, drastically, and he had no idea when he would be able to reschedule their date.
He looked up in time to see Kendyl rushing in the front door of the building. Rising from his chair, he went to greet her. On impulse, Colt pulled her into his arms hugging her tightly. She responded, speaking gently to him. “I’m so sorry, Colt. I’m here, for you and your family, whatever you need.”
“You’re so good in a crisis, baby. I remember how you took charge in the kitchen the day Caleb was killed. Thank you so much for being here for us.”
“I’d do anything for your family, you know that.” Looking up at him, she smiled. “I’d do anything for you.”
Colt smiled down at her gratefully, gazing into her deep blue eyes.
“Colt, I’ll understand if you want to postpone our date tomorrow night. You all have a lot to deal with right now.”
Looking at her pretty, angelic face, he replied, “I think that’s what we’re going to have to do. I’ll take a rain check, though. Problem is, I just don’t know how soon. I’m going to have my hands full, taking a crash course in advertising for the next few months.”
Kendyl laughed and when she did, her blue eyes sparkled. “I’ve waited for you to ask me out for a long time, Colt Hart. I think I can wait a little longer.”
“Let’s go outside.” He took her hand and led her to a secluded corner outside the building. Leaning down, he kissed her gently. As his hazel eyes met her shining blue ones, he saw something he had never noticed before. He kissed her again, more deeply.
The beautiful blonde girl in his arms responded, melting against him. When he released her, she looked up at him, unable to speak. Kendyl had longed for Colt’s kiss for a very long time. But the feelings it awakened in her were like nothing she could ever have imagined. Finally, she found her voice and shakily said, “We’d better get upstairs.”
“Yes, you’re right.” He took her hand. Together they walked silently to the elevator. When they stepped out and walked to the surgery waiting area, the doctor was speaking to Lizzie. Cara and Nick listened intently.
“You’ll be able to see Rex in about thirty minutes or so. I’ll want to keep him overnight, but barring any complications, you can take him home tomorrow. We’ll discuss restrictions in the morning when I see him.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” Lizzie said, as Nick stood up and shook the doctor’s hand.
“He’s going to be okay then?” Colt asked.
“As I was telling the others, he’ll need to rest for a few weeks. He also needs to change his diet and lifestyle a bit, but he’ll be all right as long as he follows my orders.”
Colt breathed a sigh of relief, extending his right hand to the man. “Thank you, Doctor.”
“You’re quite welcome, son. If no one has any more questions, I’ll leave you now.”
“We’ll see you in the morning,” Lizzie said, reassured by his kind words.
Colt hugged Kendyl before turning to his mother and his sister. “Thank God, he’s okay.”
Kendyl sat next to Cara and said, “I’m so glad Rex is going to be okay. He’s like a second dad to me.”
“I know he is. Thank you for being here with us.” Cara reached over and took her friend’s hand.
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else, especially now.” Kendyl’s gaze rested on Colt.
Colt glanced at Kendyl with a tender look that brought a smile to his twin sister’s face.
They were allowed to see Rex shortly after that. Reassured he was on the road to recovery, they told him goodnight as the young people prepared to go home for the evening. Lizzie insisted on staying with him, though.
Cara offered to go to the house and pack a small bag for her mother. “We’ll bring back some things for you if you insist on staying here all night.”
“Yes, it’s no problem.” Nick agreed with his wife.
“We’ll be back in the morning, Mom.” Colt gave his mother a peck on the cheek and touched his dad’s hand.
“Goodnight sweetheart,” Lizzie replied. To Kendyl, she added, “Thank you for stopping by.”
“I’ll walk you to your car,” Colt said, taking Kendyl’s hand once more.
When they reached her blue Camry, he opened the door for her. “Thanks for understanding about tomorrow. I just have so much to deal with.”
“I know. We’ll talk soon.”
Colt leaned down and kissed her again, before making sure she was safely in her car. He closed the door, waving as she drove away. His relationship with Kendyl was going to have to be put on hold. It was the price he had to pay for being so selfish, but it wasn’t fair for her to pay the price as well. As he got into his car and drove to his apartment, Colt resigned himself to the fact that the few kisses he’d shared with Kendyl that night might very well be the last kisses they would share for some time to come.

All of the Fab Five books and my other books are available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and AllRomance.com

Here are the links for The Road To His Soul:

You can find out more about me and my books at:

Thanks again, Joelle, for letting me pimp my book on your site!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Romancing the Doms

I invited Cari Silverwood to blog about the newly released "The Dom with the Perfect Brats," which she co-wrote with Sorcha Black and Leia Shaw. As a reader of the series, I was specifically interested in how they handle the doms in their series. I've reviewed the book- here it is on Goodreads. They have it available in a variety of formats, so use Goodreads' buying links.

There’s seems a sharp dichotomy, a contrast, between fantasy Doms in stories and ones who are a little closer to reality.

For a fantasy Dom supply…

Stern and menacing. Check.

All powerful, all-seeing. Check.

Super rich. Check
Willing to help the heroine out of whatever sticky situation threatens her. Check.

The world revolves around him. Check.

Once under his wing, the sub no longer needs to worry because from then on she only has to fulfill his needs. Check.

In the real world, men who are Doms are just that, men. They have vulnerabilities, money worries, family concerns, failings as a Dom , and they aren’t always right. And sometimes they don’t get to push the sub as far as they might like to because it isn’t the submissive’s kink. Sometimes they really fuck up, a lot. Because they’re only human.

In the Badass Brats series, because we hope to touch reality, we like to show Doms who even have, gasp, a sense of humor. After all, a Dom with a poor sense of humor is never going to appreciate brats. Our first book had Jude who knows how to have fun and can even laugh at himself.

In The Dom with the Perfect Brats we decided to show a Dom who has an A grade stuff-up. Godfrey Cross has relationship problems, personality problems, and he struggles to compromise. Every relationship needs compromise. If anything, the one between Dom and sub requires a more delicate and fine-tuned compromise than a vanilla marriage. You have to know when to give and when to take in a D/s relationship or it’s going to crack and fall apart.

Dominance and submission is a dance between Two people, not a song conducted by One.
Cross’s main motto is ‘My way or the highway’, and oh boy, he finds out how wrong that is. Learning to compromise for those he loves is Cross’s biggest character challenge. Yes, this Dom falls from a great height before he gets to struggle to rise again and salvage the pieces. Yet not only does this struggle make for a great story, it also makes Cross human and real.

The bottom line is: Real Doms stuff up.

And the true test of character is not how we behave in the best of times, but how we behave in the worst of times.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Patricia Logan's Rokuro and Kaden visit my blog to talk about Shibari- and share some BDSM action.

Well I still need to write my review for Patricia Logan's "Kaden (Master's Boys)" book 3 in the series, but I'm hosting her with an interview between her main characters Rokuro and Kaden about shibari. I'll let her speak for herself...

First, I would like to thank Joelle for letting me come and speak with you today. Let me introduce myself. I am Rokuro Taguchi. I hail from the great state of Hawaii. I’m employed at DOMZ.com, an online BDSM sex club. I share my job with several other Doms though Zack Teak, the website owner, hired me for my special abilities. I relocated to the Los Angeles area to find a club where I could practice Kinbaku as a Nawashi (rope master), Japanese bondage and more narrowly, Shibari, the art of rope tying or binding. Today, I’ve invited my very own submissive, Kaden to join me. We’ve been together for a short time and have participated in several scenes, though I have several questions for him. I just thought, since Joelle asked me to visit, I should probably share his answers with all of you. My boy is new to BDSM.”

Kaden, thank you for sharing your answers with Joelle’s audience.”

You’re welcome, Master.”

First of all, I’d like to ask, have you had any experience with Shibari before you entered my playroom?”

No, Master, none at all. I never wanted to let anyone tie me down. See, I have this thing about being in control. When my control is taken away, I fight like a wild animal.”

*Rokuro laughs*

Yes, you do, boy. So what made you give me the honor of tying you up and depriving you of your freedom?”

*Kaden blushes and smiles a tiny smile*

I think you know that we had chemistry from the very outset, Master.”

Yes we certainly did.”

And the feel of the ropes sliding over my skin as you tied me, was a turn on.”

*Rokuro laughs*

Yes, judging by the way your cock hardened when I pulled the ropes out of the cabinet, you liked it very much. We hadn’t even started.”

Well, it was going to be very special. I knew that even before we started. I mean, I’d never felt anything like I felt when you walked me into the room and took off my robe.”

Why is that, Kaden?”

Well, first of all, there were things in the room that frightened me.”

What frightened you, Kaden?”

Well, that cross for one thing.”

It’s called a St. Andrew’s Cross, Kaden. But why did the cross frighten you?”

Well, I assumed that Doms used that cross to tie up their subs and I didn’t like the idea at all. I thought that BDSM was all about pain. I don’t like pain.”

*Rokuro laughs*

Okay, well, I didn’t think I would like pain as much as I actually, did.”

*Rokuro nods*

Go on, Kaden.”

Well, I had never seen some of the things that were in that playroom. There were floggers hanging on the wall and there was a glass case filled with masks and dildos and anal beads and plugs. I’d never used sex toys before stepping into that room with you and when you told me that you were going to tie me to the cross, I didn’t like the idea at all.”

But once I tied your body to the cross, you began to relax. Why was that?”

Because the feel of the ropes was nice.”

You said that before. How did they feel?”

They were tight but only tight enough to keep me still. I had no way to move. Maybe if you’d only wrapped me once, I could have moved but not after you circled my body four times. And the ropes themselves… I had expected them to be rough and scratchy.”

Some ropes are, the hemp and jute are more rough than what I use, which is linen. And anywhere from two to four wraps are traditional. When a sub is suspended off the ground, a technique called tsuri, I like to use four so that the rope doesn’t cut into the skin. It’s a simple law of physics.”

*Kaden smiles*

Well, it feels amazing as it slides over my skin. That’s all I know. Where did you learn how to do that anyway?”

My father learned it from his own father in Japan when he was a young man. From an early age, I watched him do the same and I learned. He worked with men and women.”

Well, it is pretty amazing. When you tied my arms to my body and further restrained me, I began to feel very turned on.”

You watched me in the mirror, didn’t you, Kaden?”

Yes, it was very sexy. The way that you placed the knots was absolutely beautiful. It was like an art form.”

In Japan they call it Kinbaku-bi which means literally, “the art of tight binding” so you are very right, Kaden. Part of the art of Shibari is the aesthetics of the placement of knots, for example if they are placed in a diamond pattern, it is called Turtle.”

And the knot that you placed over my perineum, was the most pleasurable of all.”

*Rokuro smiles*

It is my favorite. If done correctly, it puts an amazing amount of pressure directly on the prostate. I have done that to subs in the past that couldn’t hold off an orgasm for more than a few seconds once that knot was applied.”

I can understand that. I had a hard time myself and then to top it all off you tied it to the rope around my waist and every time I moved or squirmed, I felt like coming.”

That is exactly what I wanted you to feel. You did a very good job in my playroom, Kaden. Thank you for sharing your experiences with Joelle’s audience today.”

*Rokuro bows to his boy*

*Kaden bows back*

Thank you, Master.”

Kaden's blurb:

Kaden Markwell, spoiled rich kid, has always chosen the hard way to learn life’s lessons, though he doesn’t see it that way. Now that he’s been caught in an act that, should it get out, will embarrass his millionaire father and ruin his mother’s career, he’s taken things a step too far. Kaden has no choice but to finally do what his daddy says as he’s sent off to an old family friend to get his act together.

At DOMZ.com, Kaden is not the one calling the shots anymore, and his good looks and boyish charms are more likely to leave him gagged and hogtied than with his way. When Master R, a renowned Shibari rope master, steps in to show the rebellious Kaden a thing or two about control, will they find Kaden’s inner submissive or will the experience leave them both tied in knots?

excerpt from "Kaden (Master's Boys)":

Ahh! Oh, God, it hurts, Sir!” the sub said.

As I want it to,” Master R said. He touched the boy’s thigh with the wand and again the boy cried out.
God, Sir!”

You have your words, boy. Use them if you need to or I will continue.”

Yes, Sir. Please continue, Sir.”

Good boy,” the Dom praised, touching the weights and making them swing, pulling the boy’s scrotum down again. Zack knew how painful it was. One thing that he had learned early on in the BDSM scene, was that in order to be a responsible Dom, he would have to try out all the toys that he used on his subs. Only then, could he gauge how much it hurt to have a toy used on him. He hadn’t liked most of the Dom’s playthings but then, he was not into pain himself. Giving it was much more fun than getting it, as far as Zack was concerned but that’s what made him the perfect Dom. On the other side of the glass Kaden cried out as Master R applied the wand again and then again. His skin was pink where the wand had touched.

I’m going to untie some of these ropes boy. When I do, it’s going to hurt. I want you to breathe through it. You will be just fine but you must relax, focus your thoughts and you will get through it,” the Dom said.

Yes, Master,” Kaden panted. “I understand.” Zack watched as Master R reached down and removed the weights. He saw the sub visibly relax as the tension was taken away. Master Rob moved behind the cross and began to work the ropes and as he did so, Kaden lifted his head and stared out through the glass at Zack and Cassidy. His tiny nod told Zack that he’d registered their presence. Master R stepped back around and began unwinding the ropes. Red lines showed on the boy’s skin as the silken Shibari ropes fell away. Kaden began to pant and Zack knew that the blood was returning to the areas where it had been cut off.

God, Sir, it hurts!” he whimpered. Rob nodded.

Yes boy, breathe through it.” Zack watched as the boy took several deep breaths concentrating on his breathing. He could almost see the boy fall into his subspace as he made the transition out of his own body to deal with the pain. Master Rob ran his palm down Kaden’s abused abdominals, petting him over the red marks that crisscrossed his belly. Kaden’s cock was still hard as a rock as Master R began to remove the ropes tying it up against his belly so prettily.

Patricia comes from small town America where people still believe in true love. In a house filled with family, friends and pets, she sometimes laments the lack of time just to sit down and write, though surrounded by those she loves, she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Patricia falls in love with the heroes she writes about each and every time she puts their lives down on paper. She loves sexy men and hates her villains more than the reader does. It helps to hate the bad guys. It makes the story so much richer. She realized a very long time ago that the world is filled with people who live diverse and amazing lifestyles and she tries to capture the beauty of such diversity in her writing.

Patricia has had a diverse career life. She’s been a jeweler, an AIDS hospice nurse and a “dreaded” mortgage broker. She hopes that the various walks of life she’s taken come out in her work. A busy mother of four and a “stage mom” for her youngest, she always seems to be in motion.

Come join Patricia Logan on her Face Book page or blog at http://naughtypassions.blogspot.com/ or write to her at patricialogan.author@yahoo.com. She’d love to hear from you and will respond to all emails 

Friday, May 10, 2013

Body Worship- a little talk about the fetish then some sex

So I admit to writing the sex before researching and writing this part. I mean really :D. I wanted to write a BJ, especially since I got to enjoy giving my Master a long-ish one last night. I really do love His cock and love giving Him pleasure the ways I described here. When a friend suggested "body worship" when I said I needed a topic on a "specific kink," of course the first thought I had was foot fetish, something I don't actually have. We did have a conversation that ranged how any body part could been the fetish item. Once I'd written the sex, I went to Google and searched "body part fetish." This first link was at the top of the list: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Partialism . First line: "Partialism refers to a sexual interest with an exclusive focus on a specific part of the body. " I read the short article and then giggled when I saw my friend suggested "body worship" as one of the clickable topics at the bottom. Here's that link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_worship . Of course in body worship, the information shared is more of a BDSM-specific nature. And I found myself in the "subset" section of the article hehe. While I don't get the notion of oral sex as humiliating or degrading, I can see how that can be part of a scene for those who enjoy humiliation and specifically being kneeling as they give a BJ; shrugs, I prefer to be kneeling on the bed beside Master, somewhat comfortable so that I can focus on giving Him pleasure, rather than struggling with an uncomfortable position.

Master, please. I beg, please. I want to go down on you. I want to take your cock in my mouth. Please, Master.

Yeah? This cock. Your hand moves over Your semi-hard cock; I swallow down the saliva pooling in my mouth. Aren't you tired of this cock? It's all you've known for years now.

I could never be tired of Your cock, Master. I love Your cock. I love touching it, tasting it, feeling You pushing deeper into my mouth as I struggle to deepthroat You, Master.

All these words. You click Your tongue teasingly. How are you managing so many words when I'm not in your ass?

I giggle. I can't help myself. Because of Your cock, Master. I can because I'm thinking of all the pleasure You'll feel with Your cock in my Mouth.

You rest Your hands on the bed. So?

It's all the invitation I need. I jump to hands and knees at Your hip. With one hand, I hold Your cock. I open my mouth around it, drawing the head into my mouth. I suck, softly, then harder. I bring Your cock deeper into my mouth; I groan against You. As my head goes down, my ass goes into the air. I may be worshiping Your cock, Master, but not without thinking of how You enjoy looking at my ass.

Your first moans make their way to me as Your hand brushes my ass.

I keep pushing down, Master. I want Your whole cock in my mouth, no matter how I have to blink back the tears forming in my eyes, how I have to concentrate on relaxing my throat. My knees move, bringing my body alongside Yours. My ass is now beside Your chest. I'm grateful for how Your cock slides into my mouth in this position, Master. Down all the way, I wrap my arm around Your thigh and hold myself there.

You pinch my nose shut; I shudder.

How glad I am You helped me learn this about myself; I never tried breath play before. The shudders continue, build. Oh, Master, I want to beg to come.

Come for me.

I focus on Your cock pushing into my throat, the need to breathe becoming explosive. What were just shudders are now wild thrashing. Thank You, thank You, Master.

You let go of my nose.

I pull off Your cock and draw a deep breath into my burning lungs. Immediately I dive back down. This time though, Your legs are spread enough for me to just see Your perineum. I want to shove my tongue into Your asshole, Master. I wrap my right hand around Your cock, pumping steadily, as I struggle to reach You with my tongue. The top of my head presses into the bed and I groan and moan against Your skin. I can feel the hot, tight pleasure building between my legs as Your moans start coming again, Master. The pleasure You feel, my tongue in Your ass, my hand on Your cock, shivers through my body.

Suddenly Your fingers begin their work on me. One dives into my cunt. Now wet, it works into my ass. Another finger claims my cunt.

I whimper and groan against Your skin, Master, my tongue desperately pushing in. I feel the orgasm building in me again. I pull back just enough to take first one ball, then the other into my mouth. Moaning and screaming, I suck on Your balls. A second finger joins the one already stretching my asshole, readying it for Your cock. I dive back down onto Your cock, taking You in one swift stroke. I cough and gag, but I keep You deep in my mouth. Spasms rock my body as I push against Your hand; I love it when You penetrate all three of my holes as Your cock pushes into my throat, Master.

You grunt; I open my eyes to notice that Your sac has tightened. You're so close to coming.

The tears are dripping down my cheeks now; I'm too busy holding my body up to brush them away. I tense my right arm to hold me then I lift my left hand to cup Your balls. I love your cock, Master. I love to give You this pleasure, Master. I beg You to come deep in my throat, Master. I beg to cough, and fight against gagging, Your cum, spilling into me.

You grunt again.

Thank You, thank You, Master. It's all I can think as Your cum rushes into me, down my throat, Your cock filling me. How I love Your cock, Master. How I love giving You this pleasure. Thank You for Your fucking fingers inside me, Master. I pull off Your cock and press my face against Your thigh.

Your fingers thrust once more, Your thumb moving over my clit.

I groan against Your skin. Thank You, Master. Thank You for coming in my mouth, Master. Thank You for fucking me with Your fingers and making me come, Master. Please plug my ass so it's ready to take You when You're ready to fuck me again, Master.

You laugh. Sure.

I groan as the hard silicone penetrates my asshole; it'll never be as good as Your cock, Master.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

BDSM protocols- what are they?

I've been doing a lot of learning with BDSM recently. I joined Kink Academy for 30 days- you can follow the picture to their website if you're interested- I definitely recommend them. Plus awhile ago I was invited by a friend to a "learning BDSM group" on Facebook. One thing I repeatedly notice is the word protocol, in the learning group people will ask "what are your protocols?" I struggled to answer that. Then when I did, I found myself going immediately to "personal protocols" as another person put it. Offline, there isn't much chance for me to engage with others who are into BDSM; the tiny local munch has fallen by the wayside largely do to the leader's poor health. And living in BFE, it's at least a few hours drive to anywhere civilized enough to have a public BDSM play space.

First I want to share with you the definition of "protocol" from definition.reference.com:
[proh-tuh-kawl, -kol, -kohl] noun
1. the customs and regulations dealing with diplomatic formality, precedence, and etiquette."

There are 4 other definitions, but they have nothing to do with my usage of the word. It seems pretty straightforward what a general protocol is, right? So I moved on to searching "BDSM protocol definition." The author talks more about definitions of protocol and etiquette. Then she introduces how behavior might differ in different settings. I recommend reading the whole article, but I'm going to quote two paragraphs that have specific meaning to my thoughts here:

"Low protocol is easy going and usual in most informal situations or casual stay at home nights. It is also what many D/s couples use if they are in “vanilla situations” such as family get togethers, where not everyone is aware of the lifestyle. Only to the practiced eye, is the subtle D/s interaction noticeable, but there is no doubt in the submissive’s mind that it is there.

Medium protocol is basically just a step up from low protocol. It is still fairly easy going, but there is a bit of an edge to things, and the submissive is a little more aware of his/her behaviour. It may involve things such as wearing a collar at the table for the evening, being mindful and respectful to whomever is around you, but being able to speak fairly freely, as long as you are respectful."

Now thinking on my Master and I, first off I think my confusion in that group came from the fact that we simply don't talk about protocols, rituals et cetera. Ours is a 24/7 D/s that's impacted by realities such as family, our child, our dogs, and a myriad of other vanilla responsibilities. Additionally, when we do get to interact with other BDSM-ers, whether online or offline, my Master is of the opinion that I don't owe more than basic manners expected in the US towards anyone- BDSM practitioner or not. I wear His collar, no one else's. I think we often push toward medium, but that's more about my interests (and I have one more article to share with you on that) than my Master's interests. However, in things like my locking stainless steel collar, which has been on my neck consistently in the last maybe 6 or so years since He got it, except for once when I had surgery. And bearing any vanillas or children being around, I end most sentences I say to Him with His title "Master."

Thinking on The Queen and his stable, I have to say I think he's solidly medium. In the article, she does go on to talk about the idea of "high protocol," although she doesn't offer a definition in a similar form to "low" and "medium." While there are ways that his slaves behave that lean towards high protocol, it's not as ritualistic as all that. At least I don't think so. Whether you've read on the blog or you've enjoy "Out of the Night: Book One," I'd love to hear readers' arguments about whether he is medium or high protocol. But consider the class structure, the rules about title usage (depending on one's class), and meal times, just for a few when there are rules. Okay, so maybe The Queen is closer to high protocol than medium in most ways lol.

On the website "Submissives helping submissives," I found this article on "The Myth of High Protocol." I'm not going to quote anything from it; I ask you to please go read the whole article before continuing with my post. Okay... did you obey? :D I love the way this Dom attacks the myth. One level of protocol isn't necessarily better than another. However this is myth is a very real thing and, if you ask me, a problematic thing as well. You noticed I said my Master are somewhere between low and medium, right? For the longest time, I've sadly wishes for more protocols, even if I didn't use that word in my thoughts. My Master simply doesn't want a lot of that; He'd rather have clean underwear than me constantly kneeling by His feet. After all, a large part of my D/s slavery is a service-oriented task list. However, that myth is also a dangerous thing for me. Along with other chronic health problems, I have hypoglycemia. The pictures in my head were of "A slave never eats before her Master." My Master has had to make it an established rule that I eat before I serve Him food, unless I'd already eaten before He expressed an interest in food- between my blood sugar issues and the fact that I'm vegan while He's not, we don't have meal times.

When I really think on it, my rules are few and largely vague- my Master wants me to use my ability to make decisions to decide to do what I know will best please Him.

Monday, May 6, 2013

How much back story?

Before I even started writing, while I found myself interested in back story that an author didn't choose to share, I never felt the need to complain about it in a review. However, now that I'm seriously writing, reviewing, and publishing, I find myself getting irritated at readers who mention back story in a review in a negative way. There seems to be a lot of "not enough back story" or readers finding stuff in a story implausible because they didn't get enough back story in their opinion. I think- like with computers where you can have "user error"- you can get "reader error." When I first started thinking on this, I thought of Alta Hensley's "Traditional Love." A domestic discipline story in which a woman goes through a divorce and moves into her best friend's brother's house. As the story unfolds, a romance blossoms between them. Now please scroll until you get to Anastasia Vitsky's review of the book; she decided to take the time to talk about the speed of the romance in her review of the book. But really... so these characters are written as knowing each other most of their lives- if I'm remembering the story right (it's been awhile and quite a few books since I enjoyed the book myself)- why can't readers think "hm... they've known each other a long time. Do I really need all sorts of back story to make this romance believable?" After all, in telling a story, the story teller (whether writing or telling the story aloud) has to pick a point to start. While "playing in the sprinklers on a summer day as six-year-olds" might be part of why a pair of lovers care for each other, does it really need to be in a romance novel?

So I'm not going to go read the reviews of "Out of the Night: Book One" just so I can quote at you from them, but yes, I've gotten complaints (largely from non-BDSM readers) about back story. I think one that made me laugh the hardest was a reader who accepted me to show Mearr/Vala at a 12 step meeting. Um, yes, the book isn't porn- there is a plot, a story line- but taking her to a 12 step meeting wasn't a necessary part of the story, not something I was interested in writing.

Now when Vala joins The Queen's stable, he already has 18 slaves. How much of their individual stories, how much Vala would reasonably learn (since except for specific parts, it is mostly in her point of view), those were all things that I considered as I was writing and continue to consider through edits. I had a reason for my choices.

Okay, vent done. So I wasn't venting so much with Alta's book (buy and read it if you enjoy a good Domestic Discipline/spanking book with heterosexual characters), but well about Vala's story, I became venty :D. Time to write something else lol.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

BDSM titles and why they are slippery

I'm thinking I may be more "rambly" than usual here, but I can't bring myself to be upset, because I'm often rambly lmao.

Terms, terms. The English language sure is pretty crazy. Add a subculture's language and it can get worse. Now I admit, you can go to Wikipedia. They even have a page of BDSM terminology (and I'm tickled to see I actually like their definition for "slave" better than many a BDSM site's I've read.) However, I'd rather point you to definitions on sites written by BDSM practitioners.

From a site that has pages that I want to explore a lot more later for my own interest and education: I found these definitions of "submissive" and "slave."

"submissive: An individual who gives up power in a BDSM relationship for the mutual pleasure of those involved."

"slave: Often used interchangeably with submissive. However, generally reflecting a more intense level of submission or non-sexual or sexual-plus submission. For example, a slave might be someone who remains in a 24-hour-per-day submission and cooks, cleans and, otherwise, takes care of a dominant's house. See submissive."

This is amazing in that the "slave" definition doesn't irritate or offend me; a long time ago, I'd stopped looking at definition sites like this unless I was specifically looking up something I didn't know- like yesterday, I was doing a survey and found I didn't have a clue what they meant by "skin stapling" (also defined in the glossary on the linked site). Yes, "slave" tends to be more intense that "submissive." There are those possibilities for 24/7, whatever that looks like in any given relationship.

From another site I found. I admit, I'm not as interested in checking out the rest of the website (at the bottom of the page are the links to the other pages on the site) because they did a specific thing I hate. No matter how a Master/slave couple live, no matter how they might role play, consensual BDSM slavery is not the same thing as chattel slavery. From my US perspective, no African consented to be ripped from their family, their life and brought over to the colonies, then the US before the Civil War and the passage of the 13, 14, 15th Amendments to the Constitution. But now compare the two definitions for submissive, the two for slave. How different they are!

"submissive- The person not in charge, the one that has things done to them by someone else. To yield to the control or power of another."

"Slavegirl/boy- A title/term for those that "live" as a submissive. Webster's- A human being who is owned as property by another; a person having no freedom or personal rights."

Now let's look at slave. That's the identity I wear- although when I'm talking non-BDSM practitioners, I tend to use "lifestyle submissive"- it hurts "their" heads slightly less. I've seen things like "subs have a choice, slaves don't." Really? I gave up any right or ability to make choices when I accepted my Master's collar? That was never something He and I agreed to. It's not even something He wants! He'll even tease, sometimes get irritated with me if I start asking permission for every little thing, like some BDSM erotic novel slave. Sure, I'm not likely to tell Him no directly, unless it's on something really important to me that I believe in- He and I don't agree entirely on parenting practices and there have been some arguments in which I didn't submissively accept His opinion on something. In the "slavegirl/boy" definition, the one I don't entirely care for, you notice the "live" as a submissive part, right? Pretty ambiguous, if you ask me?

So we looked at definitions around submissive/slave- two of the most debated words in my experience in the BDSM community. Online forums have given me much amusement debate watching. Often it starts innocently. A person new to BDSM, new to a group will ask a question like "What's the difference between a Daddy and a Dom?" She/he/ze doesn't mean to start an argument, doesn't mean to have people get their feelings hurt. The conversation will go well for awhile, with people thoughtfully sharing THEIR experience and claiming it as such. Then someone will make a generalization about some group. And in my experience, it's not just a generalization, but a fairly offensive one. Then the "I'm a ___, but that isn't MY reality" type sentences might start. One of the most common mistakes I see is where someone who identifies as dominant gets put out by someone who identifies as submissive - however these two roles are specifically called by them- usually something like "you're not showing me proper respect." I've managed this one. I may identify as a slave, but I'm only my Master's slave. He doesn't expect nor indeed wish me to submit to any dominant besides Him- this matches well with my wishes, which are to be just show a regular level of manners to any person who isn't Him. Yup, just because your screen name is capitalized and mine isn't doesn't mean a thing to me.

I'll share a story that I didn't on Tuesday- in the assumptions' post. Because I have a Master, because I live in a Master/slave relationship, I hear some pretty funny- at least to me- assumptions of what my life would be like. One friend, also a BDSM practitioner, assumed I would always be naked- because of the M/s dynamic. Well always being naked might work in a BDSM erotic novel, but not the world I live in. We have a teen, we have dogs, there's cooking for me to do... all sorts of things that require me to wear clothes! Plus I do regularly leave the house, and there are public decency laws to be concerned with.

So a term I used earlier... what is a Daddy? I want to send you to a website: http://a-little-understanding.webs.com/whatisadaddydom.htm Please take the time to read the whole page (even the whole site would be good). The first paragraph does give the largest part of the definition, however the last paragraph "Daddy-Dom vs. Master"- well wow! think I have a Daddy, not a Master. However, both He and I are far more comfortable with the term Master. Yes, He does take care of me a lot; I have serious and chronic health issues that mean sometimes He has to order me to do things (like feed myself before Him so my blood sugar doesn't crash) that I don't want to do. He can be rather stern when I start to quibble- "But Master! I'm not really hungry yet. I can get Your food cooking first, Master." Yes, I can even get quite a childish whine going sometimes. And if we're going to focus on the age play mention in the definition, well I carry a pink kid's backpack, have coloring books, love Jelly Bellies, wear clothes we bought in the teen girls' section of the store. When I wanted to have a pair of footy pajamas, we didn't have to go to a special website/store catering to age-players; we went to the local Target and found a set of size 14 pink pajamas with cupcakes on it.

As a friend said when we were chatting: "maybe that's the key that really dom, master, daddy, etc don't necessarily stick to the title. they are just terms to help others identify and understand relationships as openly as poly or open or any other words that relationships can be defined with." (I added some punctuation to help with chatted comment's understandability :D.

I shared the "naked all the time" assumption, but it really is much more than that. I stand to be misunderstood on all sorts of things. Of course- as a slave- I get the "doormat" assumption even more than someone who just considers hir/her/himself to be a submissive. Wanna take the moment to scroll back up to my rant about capitalized screen names? Yeah, I so am not a doormat. I will follow normal societal expectations on manners, but that's it. I'm careful where I go online because any place where "all submissives must appropriately address all Dominants" is not somewhere I want to be. When my Master and I used to go to science-fiction conventions regularly, I amused Him many a time by ripping into some unsuspecting dork who got the wrong idea because of my collar and tried to order me to do something. And that's the thing- sub, submissive, slave, little girl, sissy, whatever s-type-word you want to use- are seen by most as weak. At the risk of sounding trite, making the active decision to put someone else's needs and wants before your own isn't always an easy choice to make. And just because I don't lead my primary intimate relationship doesn't mean I can't lead other things. A friend of mine who identifies as a Top once commented to me- on an acquaintance's disbelief that I'm a submissive, based on my behavior he'd seen never around my Master- on how many BDSM organizations are led by submissives.

But then, as I was doing laundry, I was thinking- does it really matter? Whether I'm a slave, a little, a submissive... what does it really matter as long as the Man I've submitted to is happy?