BDSM protocols- what are they?

I've been doing a lot of learning with BDSM recently. I joined Kink Academy for 30 days- you can follow the picture to their website if you're interested- I definitely recommend them. Plus awhile ago I was invited by a friend to a "learning BDSM group" on Facebook. One thing I repeatedly notice is the word protocol, in the learning group people will ask "what are your protocols?" I struggled to answer that. Then when I did, I found myself going immediately to "personal protocols" as another person put it. Offline, there isn't much chance for me to engage with others who are into BDSM; the tiny local munch has fallen by the wayside largely do to the leader's poor health. And living in BFE, it's at least a few hours drive to anywhere civilized enough to have a public BDSM play space.

First I want to share with you the definition of "protocol" from definition.reference.com:

"pro·to·col

[proh-tuh-kawl, -kol, -kohl] noun

1. the customs and regulations dealing with diplomatic formality, precedence, and etiquette."

There are 4 other definitions, but they have nothing to do with my usage of the word. It seems pretty straightforward what a general protocol is, right? So I moved on to searching "BDSM protocol definition." The author talks more about definitions of protocol and etiquette. Then she introduces how behavior might differ in different settings. I recommend reading the whole article, but I'm going to quote two paragraphs that have specific meaning to my thoughts here:

"Low protocol is easy going and usual in most informal situations or casual stay at home nights. It is also what many D/s couples use if they are in “vanilla situations” such as family get togethers, where not everyone is aware of the lifestyle. Only to the practiced eye, is the subtle D/s interaction noticeable, but there is no doubt in the submissive’s mind that it is there.

Medium protocol is basically just a step up from low protocol. It is still fairly easy going, but there is a bit of an edge to things, and the submissive is a little more aware of his/her behaviour. It may involve things such as wearing a collar at the table for the evening, being mindful and respectful to whomever is around you, but being able to speak fairly freely, as long as you are respectful."

Now thinking on my Master and I, first off I think my confusion in that group came from the fact that we simply don't talk about protocols, rituals et cetera. Ours is a 24/7 D/s that's impacted by realities such as family, our child, our dogs, and a myriad of other vanilla responsibilities. Additionally, when we do get to interact with other BDSM-ers, whether online or offline, my Master is of the opinion that I don't owe more than basic manners expected in the US towards anyone- BDSM practitioner or not. I wear His collar, no one else's. I think we often push toward medium, but that's more about my interests (and I have one more article to share with you on that) than my Master's interests. However, in things like my locking stainless steel collar, which has been on my neck consistently in the last maybe 6 or so years since He got it, except for once when I had surgery. And bearing any vanillas or children being around, I end most sentences I say to Him with His title "Master."

Thinking on The Queen and his stable, I have to say I think he's solidly medium. In the article, she does go on to talk about the idea of "high protocol," although she doesn't offer a definition in a similar form to "low" and "medium." While there are ways that his slaves behave that lean towards high protocol, it's not as ritualistic as all that. At least I don't think so. Whether you've read on the blog or you've enjoy "Out of the Night: Book One," I'd love to hear readers' arguments about whether he is medium or high protocol. But consider the class structure, the rules about title usage (depending on one's class), and meal times, just for a few when there are rules. Okay, so maybe The Queen is closer to high protocol than medium in most ways lol.

On the website "Submissives helping submissives," I found this article on "The Myth of High Protocol." I'm not going to quote anything from it; I ask you to please go read the whole article before continuing with my post. Okay... did you obey? :D I love the way this Dom attacks the myth. One level of protocol isn't necessarily better than another. However this is myth is a very real thing and, if you ask me, a problematic thing as well. You noticed I said my Master are somewhere between low and medium, right? For the longest time, I've sadly wishes for more protocols, even if I didn't use that word in my thoughts. My Master simply doesn't want a lot of that; He'd rather have clean underwear than me constantly kneeling by His feet. After all, a large part of my D/s slavery is a service-oriented task list. However, that myth is also a dangerous thing for me. Along with other chronic health problems, I have hypoglycemia. The pictures in my head were of "A slave never eats before her Master." My Master has had to make it an established rule that I eat before I serve Him food, unless I'd already eaten before He expressed an interest in food- between my blood sugar issues and the fact that I'm vegan while He's not, we don't have meal times.

When I really think on it, my rules are few and largely vague- my Master wants me to use my ability to make decisions to decide to do what I know will best please Him.