Nanowrimo is going pretty good for me,
if you've been watching the word progress meter on the right side of
the page. As I write, I've been thinking more about a variety of
things... from age play to sexual education to how the people would
work things out in a poly triad. I have various ideas about pacing in
the story and how that's affecting the balance of romance, sex, BDSM,
age play, and non-sexual scenes in the story. I know for sure that
I'm going to break some Nano "rules"- the one that I'm
thinking about most is "don't go back and edit." The way
writing is going, I find myself skipping to what's the ending, in
part to see how many words I get by the time of the "end
picture." Then, whether November is over or not, I'll being
going back to the beginning and adding scenes to fill out the romance
part of the books, as well as adding some scenes, probably some phone
sex between Mara and Joey.
This diary entry is written as Mara is
driving for a surprise visit to Andrew and Joey. "About 5 hours"
of a drive separating them. I picture her drinking a cup of coffee as
she writes, before getting back on her way to see her little girl.
***
Dear, sweet diary...
So I finally stopped for breakfast on
the drive down to visit Andrew and Joey. I can't believe in just a
few hours I'm going to see my darling girl. These past weeks, getting
to know them has been wonderful. And getting to know myself, as
"Mommy." I really was such a mixture of emotion when I set
out on this quest to find myself as dom, just a little over a month
ago. I think Joey and I are mostly playing with her as a young teen.
It'll be interesting to see how it goes once I'm there, if she ends
up older, younger.
I'm most anxious for interacting with
Andrew at the same time as Joey. Our text conversations with him at
work have been good, working on a friendship. Hopefully that'll help
with processing any feelings of jealousy, if they're even there. I've
really valued that, the growing friendship with another dom. I don't
know, maybe it's just Andrew's character, but I've never felt such a
close friendship with another dom. I love how his domination of Joey
enriches their relationship, never makes it seem like BDSM erotica,
never lessens his care for her.
A whole week. I can't believe I'm
staying for a whole week! And Andrew deciding to make it a surprise
for Joey. It'll be nice, as a friend and as a lover (is that the
right word here? Dom? Big? I'm not sure.) to help them as Andrew
makes the shift from day to midnight shift. I find it so sad that any
employer still uses swing shift; it's so very cruel in my opinion. I
know it was when Andrew made his first swing to midnights that Joey
started sleeping with a stuffed animal; I wonder just how hard the
swing is for her? How does Andrew's domination change when He's
struggling to change his sleep schedule, really his life schedule?
Any time now, Joey should be receiving
my package. I can't help but imagine her opening it, reading the
note, and then rushing off to obey. Showering. Okay, I gotta get my
head out of the gutter. I nearly masturbated myself raw last night,
thinking about that moment of seeing her. Of holding her. I'm unsure
now about this whole LDR thing, how it feels, everything. Talking
online, talking on the phone, scene-ing in words... and then the
occasional visit. Can I live with it? Do I want to live with it? What
of Joey and Andrew? He's repeatedly commented on just how much more
content Joey is. Because of the LDR? The age play? A woman in her
life? None, all of them? I think those will be things to revisit,
reconsider after this visit.
I can't wait to see this guest room
that she's been working so hard on. She hasn't said anything in
wondering about Andrew giving her free reign in the room. I wonder if
she's imagined us in that room? Okay, time to finish my coffee and
get back on the road. I'll be holding my little girl soon.
Sincerely,
Mara. the happiest mommy in the world
UPDATE- for those reading after the fact, here's the link for Mara's next blog entry: http://joellecasteel.blogspot.com/2013/11/mommys-blog-end.html . This link goes to the last of the "Mara's blog" entries; however as of 9/13/2014, I am working to finish "Mommy" and hope to be submitting it to publishers before the year is out.)
UPDATE- for those reading after the fact, here's the link for Mara's next blog entry: http://joellecasteel.blogspot.com/2013/11/mommys-blog-end.html . This link goes to the last of the "Mara's blog" entries; however as of 9/13/2014, I am working to finish "Mommy" and hope to be submitting it to publishers before the year is out.)
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