This blog will contain...
...profanity, sexually explicit dialog andadult imagery.
If you are under 18 and/or offended by this...

Thanks fiona, from "Sir Q and Me" for the warning message that just makes me melt. :)

Thursday, July 31, 2014

#SRR ... Discipline AND Punishment- how they work in my BDSM (DD?) life

Thanks to Thianna D. and Spanking Romance Reviews for hosting this round table. When I signed up, I expected this to be easier to write than it was; however I think that's more a comment on watching my very old dog as she's having a bad day, when we're starting to have the "will she get up again?" "Is it time to have her put to sleep?" conversation. Sighs, but she's in no pain that we can tell, so my Master just shakes His legs more in anxiety and I want to look at nothing but my computer screen, but frustratingly, I see anxious Master to the left and old, falling apart dog to the right.

For me, discipline is something that you know you should do, that you don't need an order (whether from a dominant/HoH as an adult submissive, from a parent to a child, from a boss to an employee) to complete. More than the first order to do something, that is. As a lifestyle submissive who lives a life looking muchly like a housewife, discipline is what guides me as I do the laundry, prepare meals, clean the dishes, etc. Punishment is one that I have a harder time with. While I do use punishment in my writing, especially as I tend to write things set at a medium BDSM protocol, I live at a low level BDSM protocol. To explain to people unfamiliar with the BDSM protocol levels, this means I tend to live with a less obvious sort of rigidity than you might see in BDSM erotica/erotic romance. Punishment isn't something I live with much. When I read DD/spanking fiction, I find it confusing to see specific things (like swearing for example) being worth so many spanks- a number of impacts (of hand, implement etc) is just something that neither my Master nor I have ever wanted.

Beyond the "not wanting," the current struggles that my Master and I have been going through make "punishment" an even harder thing for me to consider. It seems punishment should be synonymous with "deterrent," but the fact that I need implement play to help control my bipolar, to feel more balanced... and my Master ISN'T, whether from depression or illness or any of the dozens of other stressors currently complicating our lives... just isn't doing them makes reading about impact activities, whether spanking with a hand, a brush, a paddle, ginger in the rectum, corner time, the dozens of other things used in spanking, DD, BDSM fiction, as punishment difficult. I just don't get it.

I actually prefer the word discipline, as I've used it. As a way of approaching things. Of course, it's a constant tension for me to run the house as my Master wants. My mother-in-law can be rather old-fashioned in some things and she ran a pretty tight house as He was growing up; unfortunately no matter how many times I say "Master, I need something like Flylady to help me because I simply didn't get the teaching that Your mother did," He doesn't get it really. And the current infestation of earwigs doesn't help- I spend all too much time in the midst of things like "cleaning the kitchen" in killing earwigs- lol, I may border on "hippie" as my Master likes to teach about homemade shampoos and such, but earwigs will die. Icky things.

Well my neighbors on either side really don't know much. Although I'm out as "not straight" and polyamorous to the middle aged non-denominational Christian woman to one side- it amuses her to have such an "out there" friend :D. I'm out and I'm not to my parents- they will receive comments like "I have to talk to Don about that"- but they happily, firmly live in denial. I think online talking to friends, because in this conservative hellhole in which I live, most of my friends are online, I spend a lot of time explaining my reality. Because somehow the fact that I live "Master/slave" equals "high protocol"- if you'd like to read my most recent vent on assuming what protocol I live based on my identity, click here. I'm not under heavy bondage, discipline, or the threat of punishment constantly. If anything, I'd love a little more of that type of stuff from my Master- not so much in others' books, my books, my fantasies.

Abuse. Hm. You see that's the last thing; I'm still debating the words to use. It's about consent so much for me. Although it's not all that easy as that. I got into it once with a BDSM friend who doesn't agree with Christian Domestic Discipline- he doesn't see that the submissive is consenting necessarily because of the (usually? some CDD person care to comment if my usually is correct?) conservative Christian interpretation of the bible that's used by CDD people. However, I think that the submissive even in CDD can give her consent. Of course, I'm thinking a bunch about edge play and consent (from what I shared in WIP it up Wednesday two weeks ago in part; I enjoy quite a bit of edge play IRL). What does it mean to withdraw one's consent? I'm not as sure as I once was. In part it's because I've read more from people who enjoy saying things like "no" and "stop" during BDSM activity; again, not something my Master and I are into- if I actually use either of those words during BDSM activity, my Master takes them at their accepted meaning, not as roleplay.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

#WIPWednesday ... What did Vala tell her diary?

Sharing WIPs (works in progress) can be so very fun! On this lovely blog hop, enjoy a bunch of authors sharing excerpts of what they're working on- get ready to add some great books to your TBR, once the author publishes :) Although occasionally you may find an author sharing a published work. Give 'em a break- these may just be roughly edited- but please do leave a comment! We authors know we're going in a good direction.

After the tension of the knife play, the vaginal fisting, hair pulling and all the wondrous hardcore BDSM that The Queen and Vala enjoyed last week, I decided to change directions this week. Of course, I still managed to be naughty :D. One theme of the whole serial is Vala's training to become the slave The Queen wants. As part of that training, he utilizes the tool of having her writing once a week in a diary that he reads and usually discusses with Simon. At this point, we're about 1/3 of the way into "The Beginning of Knowledge: Book Four."

Dear Diary,
Well, I'm at the end of my second week in the stable and I can't imagine feeling any more wonderful than I do. I can't imagine how much more I'll be learning before my training is done, not to say my learning will be over just because my official training period is.

It was very nice to have my Lady Iona leading my lessons a few days this week. I've enjoyed experiencing her style of teaching. She tends to be less hands-on than The Queen, seeming to prefer instructing with verbal guidance. She also tends to be more laid back. Maybe it's just 'cause Iona's a mom. I would think that, more often than not, giving birth turns on motherly instincts in women; I sure hope so or I have NO business ever having kids.
I wonder what it would be like if The Queen and Iona led a lesson together; I suppose I'll find out before my training's done.

Speaking of The Queen and Iona leading a lesson together, it was crazy to hear the tone of voice Iona used with The Queen when he interrupted my lesson on Tuesday! I still can't believe Iona got away with it without punishment, though The Queen did seem quite sincerely apologetic. It was funny how Iona put it about me winning the game. I wonder if that situation was what they talked about on Wednesday when he called Iona to his study.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

#Taboo2sday ... Who is Vala?

8 to 10 sentences (or 100 words for bloggers/reviewers) of taboo erotica. Take a risk with me? :D

I wanted to share a little bit more from my upcoming Vala's Story serial book, "The Beginning of Knowledge: Book Four." The Queen's friend Cara is visiting and she lives her BDSM as a Gorean- click here if you'd like to read my thoughts on how The Queen is like a Gorean. She ends up teaching Vala some about the way Gorean philosophy can be brought into BDSM roleplay. Vala gets confused, upset and The Queen comforts her.

"What are you?"

"Your slave, my Queen," Vala whimpered.

The Queen laid his hand on Vala's throat. "Who does this belong to?"

"You, my Queen."

"And this?" He laid his hand over her mound.

"Ya... you, my Queen," she gasped.

"And this?" He laid his hand over her belly, over the jagged "mine" that lingered there from Monday.

"You! You, my Queen!" Vala panted and writhed against him.

Monday, July 28, 2014

When she will be ready?

So it's common enough that I have people randomly friend me on Facebook and then ask a bunch of questions about BDSM, wanting to understand something. More often than not, I find the questions can be simplified to "Am I the only person like me?" While I've known some people with truly unusual, non-mainstream fetishes, I've never meet someone who was "the only one." On Saturday I had one of those experiences, a person with a fantasy and fear that she was the only one with it. After a bunch of questions- I was so touched when she suggested I should be a counselor- I'd led her to a more realized notion of what she wanted and how to go about getting it.

I struggled with some details in this, especially because we found some of her interests about Christianity take her toward more conservative, more legalistic portions of the religion that I mainly know about as a home educator and as a liberal religious person who disagrees with much of it. Finally, she just seemed to want a paragraph, but I the novelist didn't feel right giving her just that :D. And we have my thoughts on starting from a him and going to a her that is a devout Christian.

Being a very tall and very dominant man, I knew I wanted a tall woman, a tall woman who was also very submissive. You see, I believe that God's natural order decrees that women should be submissive to men. Maybe somehow my parents realized I'd accept their lessons so readily and that's why they named me Adam. I couldn't believe it when I found the woman He'd meant for me.

Lori-Anne has been simply the kindest woman possible since we meant on the Christian Domestic Discipline forum. Her excitement as she learned about Christianity, learned about proper demeanor, and dozens of other things, was palpable even over the Internet. I couldn't help but chuckle at her pleasure at having received her copy of Michael and Debi Pearl's "Created to Be his Helpmeet."

I admit to a load of anxiety when she explained about her history. The fact that she is biologically male was almost too much for a Bible-believing Christian like me. I appreciate the difference that she isn't into being made into a sissy like some kinky male stereotype. I felt such a relief when she told me that she would like to adopt as many children as possible. That alone has allowed me to pray and come to a place of peace.

Lori-Anne didn't want to start video conferencing until after she'd been able to improve her wardrobe; she thankfully agrees on the Godliness of modest dress.

Then one day in our instant messenger conversation, she told me she was ready...

"I want you to be appropriately feminine before we take the next step in our courtship. Remove those incorrect male clothing." I waited for her to obey.

He looked down at his clothing, unsure. After a long moment's silence, he stripped as quick as his shaking fingers could manage. He placed the clothing in a garbage bag that I held toward him.

"I'm glad to see you followed my instruction that you undergo hair removal."

"I wanted to obey, sir," he murmured, his voice raised to a lovely tenor.

"I won't touch you until you are properly dressed," I warned.

He made a small feminine nod, his gaze lowered to the floor; I then noticed his beautifully manicured nails, dressed in a medium pink polish.

"I've lined up the things in proper order. First the panties."

I watched him gaze at the articles of clothing as he moved to the coffee table. I was glad to see the most obvious sign of his masculinity disappear under the suitably modest cotton panties. Then she moved on to the prosthesis that I had lucked into finding online; I struggled at first because of what I felt was a lack of moral character on the website, due to the other products they sold. I wanted to watch and I didn't want to. I finally turned away.

He must have struggled mostly in silence, but after a moment, he murmured, "I hope it doesn't displease you, but I moved onto the second pair of panties, sir."

I looked at him and then the bed- both the prosthesis and the second pair of panties, the feminine cotton. "I know you hadn't want to ask for anything for yourself, but it's really for me. I found a bra meant for women who've had a mastectomy. It will give you a feminine chest."

He slipped the bra on and quickly fastened the clasp. With the wave of my hand, he moved on to the tan full slip.

"I hope you like the dress. I thought it would look pretty on you." I lifted my gaze to his face just in time to see his demure focus returned to the floor. I held in a gasp as the fabric went up in the air and then slid downward to show the womanly frame that matched the mind I knew online. I couldn't bear to look as the cap and then the beautiful deep brown wig going on her head, but I knew they were. I crossed the bed to pick up the modest snood I'd found. I needed to further impress modesty on her.

"Lori-Anne, turn around so I can put your hair in this snood. Once we're married, I'm the only man I want seeing your hair, whether it be wig or your natural hair."

"Yes, sir," she murmured before turning her back to me.

I gathered up her hair, enjoying the feel of it moving through my fingers, knowing that Paul was right to say that women should cover their heads. I pulled the elastic band up around her head, leaving some wisps of bangs free. I took her by the shoulders and turned her back to me. I slid a delicate promise ring onto her left ring finger.

"Now you are ready for us to pray," I announced before handing her a small, white leather Bible. "In two months, my second wife-to-be should be ready for my family.

"Yes, sir," Lori-Anne murmured, smiling because Adam had judged her ready.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Katherine Deane visits with her "The Coach's Discipline"

What a fun book- I've read snippets so far but can't wait to read it- I'm so glad Katherine could come visit my blog with her wonderful and unusual spanking romance. And I pass my blog to her...

This is a special scene for me. We have already met Claire as the potential submissive who doesn’t do well in confrontational settings. But we are also about to learn how much she despises terms of endearment. It’s definitely a source of confliction for her. Here’s her first official meeting with her antagonist, Morgan. J

She was stretching with the rest of the team when a shadow came over her. She squinted up into the sun to see a beautiful blonde, in matching lavender jog bra and shorts, scowling at her. She could have been on the cover of Runner’s World.
“Hi, I’m Claire.” She moved over, making room for the other woman. “Would you like to join us?”
The blonde sat next to her, and gave her a saccharine fake smile. “Why thank you, sweetie,” she said in a very southern accent, and lifted her nose.
She tensed, knowing this woman was casually letting her know that she did not approve of her presence. She abhorred terms of endearment, like sweetie, honey, and darlin’. Especially from other women. Her roommate did it occasionally, being a southern belle, and having it as part of her vocabulary. But Jen tried not to do it too often once she’d found out how much it irked her. And when people she barely knew used them, they came across so condescending and “I’m better than you,” and so overly familiar, she found herself shuddering in revulsion.
She forced a smile, “Actually, it’s Claire. I’d appreciate it if you’d call me Claire.” She heard the collective inhales of several of the other women from the group.
“Sure thing, sweetie.” The blonde said, tossing her hair.
They stared at each other, neither one willing to look away first. She gnashed her teeth, kicking herself for not knowing what to say. God, she hated confrontation, but she didn’t want to let some beauty queen push her around either.
“All right ladies,” Nick interrupted the stare off. “Now that we have all been introduced.” He gave Claire and Morgan pointed looks.
She felt her cheeks warm, when he met her gaze, and looked down at her legs quickly.


Saturday, July 26, 2014

#SeductiveSnS ... A gaggle of Patricia Logan reviews- MM BDSM

Seductive Studs and Sirens... a blog hop for LGBT romance, erotica, and erotica romance... 150 words of love from a non-heterosexual perspective. Enjoy my post and then check out the other hoppers with the links below.

So I didn't manage to write the reviews of all 3 Patricia Logan books that I meant to review- darned Canadian TV (catching up on "Degrassi"- normally teen-mom bonding, but I was like 5 episodes behind. However, a major plot this season is a girl who gets black-out drunk and is sexual assaulted by two boys... yeah, I'm a rape survivor so it's been hard- didn't manage the 3rd review I'd planned.)

My first 5 star review is for "A Very Good Year"- 2nd in Patricia's "Westburg series," focusing on stories set in her fictional city Westburg, Texas. You can read the full review here on Goodreads.

The second is for "Hot Summer Hogs," a short story that includes 3 characters (Cade and Jake Littlebear and Zachary Teak) from other series of hers. You can read the full review here on Goodreads.

If you return next week for Seductive Studs and Sirens, I'll be reviewing "Verified Kill," 1st in "The Assassins" series and Anastasia Vitsky's "Becoming Clissine."

Friday, July 25, 2014

The importance of self-identity

So Emily Tilton suggested it would be interesting to read posts about how my perspective on life and the lifestyle of BDSM- as someone who lives in BDSM, I admit that made me shudder just a bit, like a GBLT person being told their sexuality is a choice- and today is the first. As I've been doing in past weeks, I'm sharing the link to Saturday Spankings for your spanking reading enjoyment this weekend; I'll probably read to, but I've been having to cut back a bit as my Master has been trying to deal with some serious temper tantrums and bipolar madness on my part.

The GLBTQI+ or "Quiltbag" Pride Flag

I have known transgender people who, while they have to some point transitioned their gender from what they were assigned at birth, they don't identify as "trans." Sadly I had never seen that choice of identity label given respect in print until I started reading Julia Serano's "Excluded." I'd never thought of it until I was talking to a friend the other day, but I prefer the words I use to explain my sexual and relational identity- queer, poly, and kinky- because it's uncommon that a person reads/hears my identity without asking to have at least one of those words defined.

I've been thinking about "queer," about all the reasons I prefer it to "bisexual." I had a bunch of thought after reading Julia's thoughts about identity terms and bi-invisibility and -phobia. While I don't anymore see the identity of "bisexual" as reinforcing the gender binary (of male/female, which I don't agree with), as an identity as a sexual person who lives outside the mainstream, bisexual feels inadequate to me.

While this isn't the Leather Pride Flag, I appreciate how the Leather & Grace UUs For BDSM Awareness symbol incorporates the Leather Pride colors and the Unitarian Universalist symbol the chalice.
Here are two links I want to share from the Unitarian Universalist Association- the national organization of my religion; here is the page for bisexual identity and here is for queer identity. If you decide to go read these two pages, I'll tell you that definitions 2 through 4 of "queer identity" make it feel most right to me. Queer is so much more inclusive and transgressive of sexual, gender, and relational boxes that just don't encompass my reality. I am proud not to be in the mainstream as much as possible, even in things like being married to a man, I transgress things by being attracted to people other than my husband... who is also my Master.

Now I want to point out my phrase "sexual and relational" identity. Without getting into a nature-versus-nurture debate, I believe the relationship forms and who we fall in love with should be less determined by "society" than by a somewhat nebulous "what feels right" to each person, as long as everyone is consenting and no one is permanently injured. I talk about this to bring poly (as in polyamorous) and kinky (as in BDSM practitioner) into the conversation. If "queer" answer "who" I might be involved with romantically and sexually, poly and kinky answer things like "how many," "in what ways," and "how."
Polyamorous Pride Flag

However, as gay people have fought to have their lives acknowledged outside of who they have sex with, being poly and kinky affects my life "outside of the bedroom" too. I have had people tell me that "I am a lifestyle submissive" is "talking about sex," while I argue that for me, it's a statement of identity as a person might say "I am a lesbian." Something that's sure to make my Master laugh is when I tell Him that someone (usually a person who's never seen me around Him) says they can't imagine me being a submissive; I'm not a doormat, I've only accepted my Master's collar. Although it comes to me, having filled out a BDSM survey online recently, that I've started using "lifestyle submissive," while I really prefer "slave," as the former can be a little easier for a non-BDSM person to deal with than the latter.

In terms of my characters, I feel an in-real-life level of import to their identities. This often comes out in anger, irritation when people misgender The Queen based only on his name. Despite that chosen name (he chooses it over his birth name), the pronouns I use with him are always traditionally masculine. True, he experiences "being a man" in his own way, that includes a bisexual/queer identity. I think he's comfortable enough in fluidity that he doesn't question too much- he is who he is.

Of course balancing my surety with The Queen is my confusion with Lady Audrey. I started off thinking she was just a domme friend of his with five submissives of her own. Somewhere along the way, I decided she should be transgender as all my other characters are cisgender. As her back story grew to include a close friendship with The Queen, including being the one to give him that name, I struggled between writing a sensitive (to transgender/sexual people), authentic character and actually writing the character. I used to have a character with a "heavy Scottish brogue," but her dialogue was so difficult that when I decided The Queen's stable was too big, I removed "the Scottish girl"- I didn't want to do that to Lady Audrey.

With Lady Audrey, I've found myself doing a lot of searching on what it means to be a woman. She belongs in this post about self-identity because she identifies as a trans woman; she prefers feminine pronouns.One of the important parts of coming to understand her as a person was given me by Vanessa Clark (her blog can be found here)- basically "she's a woman, treat her as such." I was focusing too much on the "trans" part of Lady Audrey's identity. As I work in books four and five of my Vala's Story serial, I've taken the chance to educate my readers, who may very well be cisgender like me, maybe having read/talked less about non-cisgender issues than I have, as The Queen and Lady Audrey do their best to educate Vala in what it means to Lady Audrey to be a trans woman.

I may appear to be a straight, monogamously-married woman if you see me with my Master. If we're among "vanillas," I often don't use His title, as is often His preference. If you catch Lady Audrey on a "good day"- she's just started taking hormones after having "lived as a woman" for nearly two decades and any transgender person can tell you, the medical side of transitioning can make some days difficult in terms of how others "read" your gender- you won't have any reason to think she's anything but a stereotypically tall high fashion model, unless she decides to come out to you. However both Lady Audrey and I think of ourselves as women... and I believe that is our right to self-identify as such.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

My thoughts on "The Rich Dom"

The rich dom, he who is a titan of industry- because he's always a he although I'd appreciate titles including rich dommes in the comments' section. He has a huge heart (and sex drive) for his darling submissive woman. E.L. James wasn't the first to use this trope in a romance and certainly won't be the last. It sometimes is with extreme irritation that I have to deal with this thought, given that I have my own rich dom in The Queen, the Master as the head of everything in my Vala's Story serial.

When I started writing Vala's Story, the explosion of BDSM erotic romance hadn't happened yet. For a queer, poly, kinky person like me, there were only the "BDSM classics," like Anne Rice's erotica, de Sade & Sacher von Masoch, "On Our Backs" magazine. Sure, there were things like "Penthouse Letters," but those were made for the straight male to enjoy. Even romance failed me because those were targeted at straight (often white, middle class), monogamous women.

When I first created The Queen as a very rich, I wanted to imagine Tom rich and able to fix all our problems. He who was the original basis for The Queen was living in a coffeehouse while I suffered a sort of mundane neglect from my parents, after years of serious emotional abuse- I can still hear my mother: "This isn't for publish." Well, fuck you. You've never apologized for not supporting me when I needed you. I've gone off on a tangent though. Things weren't nearly as bleak for me as they are for Mearr/Vala at the beginning of "Out of the Night: Book One," but they weren't good either- my mother was only one piece of how my world as a young adult just wasn't right.

Then as the story morphed from birthday gift for Tom into an erotic serial, the size of The Queen's stable and his "white knight" complex, the need for him to be insanely rich was confirmed. How else was he to feed and home everyone he loved? How else could he make their lives better than when their lives had become intertwined?

from the soon-to-be-released "Gates of the Garden: Book Two" Iona explains to Vala in the kitchen:
"Counting The Queen, there's nineteen of us, and you make twenty. Then when Erik and Brenna are here, we're twenty-two. That's a lot of people."

The immediate difference I see between the "rich dom" trope, how it's normally used is that all that money goes to a crazy lifestyle for one dom/sub pairing- The Queen uses the money not only on his large family. Although he does engage in the very trope-appropriate donating of money to causes for which he cares. Not that I have anything against monogamy as a way of living; it just seems horribly irresponsible to me to have all that money being spent mostly on two people. Even if I was comfortable writing monogamy, I'm not sure I would be comfortable giving two people as much richness, as I've given The Queen and his family.

Be watching for "Skipping Down the Primrose Path: Book Three" to come; there's one scene in which I truly show a joy in doing for others. I enjoyed showing off The Queen's wealth, yes, but the others' joy is the focus.

So while neither good nor bad, I have my billionaire dom, a white knight, who in some ways is the very archetype of the perfect rich guy in a romance novel.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

#WIPWednesday ... The Queen wants to know if Vala trusts him

Sharing WIPs (works in progress) can be so very fun! On this lovely blog hop, enjoy a bunch of authors sharing excerpts of what they're working on- get ready to add some great books to your TBR, once the author publishes :) Although occasionally you may find an author sharing a published work. Give 'em a break- these may just be roughly edited- but please do leave a comment! We authors know we're going in a good direction.

I shared the 10 sentences max that I could from this scene yesterday as part of the Taboo Tuesday blog hop, but today you get to read more of this wonderfully, outrageously taboo, edge play scene from "The Beginning of Knowledge: Book Four." I know, I'm being a tease- Melody might even wanna spank me 'cause "Gates of the Garden: Book Two" still needs published and here I am sharing from book 4. :D But first I was thinking of taboos for yesterday and knife play/edge play seemed like a good one. My Master once told me a story about someone ripping into Him on a BDSM forum because He mentioned knife play- mind you, I was the one interested in the play, begged for it, and He with His martial arts and choreographed fighting experience did it the safest way He knew. Here however we have The Queen and Vala... does she trust him enough?

Vala looked up, her eyes trying to focus through the gauzy curtains.

"That is nice," The Queen murmured as he blew out the tip of flame on the incense. He placed it in an incense holder. He approached the bed and parted the curtains.

"My Queen," Vala gasped. Her gaze moved over his chest, his legs, his hard cock.

"I am glad the sight of me naked still makes you gasp." He knelt on the bed between her legs. "Is it fear, arousal, or a little bit of both?"

"Ba... both, my Queen." She stared at the dagger in his hands.

"You trust me?" He laid the flat of the blade against her stomach.

Vala groaned, whimpered. Her legs twitched, but her torso was frozen. "Yes... my Queen."

His free hand moved between her legs. "I love to see the fear in your eyes." He pushed her lips apart. His thumb pressed against her clit. "Are you struggling to stay still?" Two fingers slid into her cunt.

"Ye... yes... my Queen." Her eyes wet, she stared up at him.

"But it is easier since you are bound?" He pressed the knife against her stomach. "You can only lay there and take what I do to you."

"Ye... just want to... please you... my Queen." Her lips trembled.

He slowly turned the knife until the edge touched her skin. His eyes focused on her thighs as her legs tensed.

"Did you tense your legs because the sharp edge of the knife turns you on or scares you?"

"Ta... turns... me on, my... Queen. You only... hurt me... in good... ways... my Queen."

He leered at her. "Good ways?" He thrust three fingers into her cunt as he pressed the knife just enough to make a red line on her skin.

"Love you... my Queen," Vala sobbed, her mouth a wide grimace. "Your slave... my Queen."

"Yes, mine." He lifted the knife so only the tip touched her stomach. He moved the knife to touch her skin near her hip. "Mine."

Vala screamed, her eyes squeezed shut. "Yours!"

The Queen moved the knife downward, finishing the last line in the 'm'. "It did not hurt that bad, did it?"

"Na... no... my Queen!" Her hips rose off the bed, bringing her closer to the knife as he drew the 'i. ' "Just... want... to please... you!"

"Too hard to hold still now?" Three quick, shallow slashes and the 'n' appeared on her stomach.

"Yes... no... I... um... love you... my Queen! Yours!"

He pushed a fourth finger into her cunt. "Can you make it through the last letter, the last strokes marking you as mine?"

"Ye... yes! My Queen!" She pushed her body downward, pushing her cunt harder onto his fingers, although she otherwise kept still.

"Mine," he murmured as he dragged the knife over her stomach to draw the 'e'. "My slave." He worked his thumb into her, pushing his hand into her.

"Be... beg... to come... my Queen!" She sobbed, her chest heaving.

"You want to come?" He threw the knife to the floor. He pushed until his knuckles disappeared inside her.

"Are you my slave?"

"Yes, yes, yes! Your slave... my Queen. Yours!" She stared into his eyes. "Please! I beg you... my Queen."

His hand pushed into her cunt until his wrist pressed against her lips. "Come!"

Vala screamed, the sound dissolving into a moan. "Oh my Gods! I... love you... my Queen. Love you, love you, love you!" She thrashed within her bonds, tugging against the silk ropes. "Thank... thank you! Thank you... my Queen!" Her ass rose off the bed and her hips froze in the air. "Your slave!" she screamed.

"Mine." He pulled his hand out of her; she fell back to the bed. "We may have to talk about branding." He dragged his tongue across her stomach, traced the letters. "You responded beautifully to that."

"Tha... thank you... my Queen." She groaned when he moved from the bed to untie the ropes.

Dropping the last rope to the bed, he leaned through the curtains and grabbed her hair. He pulled and she fell out of the bed, stumbling after him.

She groaned and whimpered with each step, her legs shaking.

"My Queen!" Prisca gasped as she walked into the room.

"Hello, girl." The Queen caught her lips in a cruel kiss. "Watch out for the knife I left laying on the floor. Put it up on the shelf before you play."

"Yes... my Queen." She groaned then sniffed the air. "Drakkar incense, my Queen?"

"I had a feeling you would bring Abrecan here after awhile." He smiled knowingly at her. "Just a little bit of me here while you use Abrecan."

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

#Taboo2sday ... metal and sex

8 to 10 sentences (or 100 words for bloggers/reviewers) of taboo erotica. Take a risk with me? :D

I was debating if I'd wanted to share more from "Skipping Down the Primrose Path: Book Three" of my Vala's Story serial; after some thought, some discussion with my beta reader, I decided to move on to "The Beginning of Knowledge: Book Four"- isn't that an amusingly ironic title? But yes, after the novella of "Out of the Night: Book One," just novel-length "Gates of the Garden: Book Two"- the twin longer books of "Skipping" and "Knowledge" give me a lovely source of material to tease people on hops like this. For at least a few weeks between this hop and #WIP-Wednesday, you'll probably get some of this fun book with The Queen, Vala, and their huge family.

I figure there's 2 taboos functioning here, maybe 3; what do you think they are? If you want to read more of this scene, come back tomorrow to enjoy my longer sharing for #WIP-Wednesday.

She stared at the dagger in his hands.

"You trust me?" He laid the flat of the blade against her stomach.

Vala groaned, whimpered. Her legs twitched, but her torso was frozen. "Yes... my Queen."

His free hand moved between her legs. "I love to see the fear in your eyes." He pushed her lips apart. His thumb pressed against her clit.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Iona is simply not in the mood

Apologies to anyone who was expecting another installment with my Irish twins, but the story line had petered out for me (you can enjoy their three parts here, here, and here). This week, I was intrigued to write BDSM that didn't work out, a submissive not in the mood. I'm re-reading Maren Smith's "Saving Sara" and Master Jackson has his hands full trying to deal with the main submissive character Sara. I decided to work with The Queen and Iona prior to Vala's entrance into their family, when their son Erik is still an infant, not the toddler whom readers will get to meet the first time in "Gates of the Garden: Book Two"- (UPDATED to point readers after 10/2014 to My Books for the buy links for "Gates of the Garden: Book Two"- available in several electronic forms currently)...

Sex? BDSM activity? What will come of this interaction between The Queen and Iona?

Iona turned the page in her book.

"Hey lovely." The Queen wandered into her room.

"My Queen," Iona murmured with little emotion to her voice.

The Queen cleared his throat in warning.

"Oh I'm sorry, my Queen," Iona said as she placed her finger on the page before looking at him. She smiled and scooted to one side of her bed to make space for him before returning to her reading.

"Was it that hard with Erik last night that you're just going to ignore the protocols we live with?"

Iona's gaze jumped with the dreaded contraction. "My Queen? I'm sorry. I'm just so exhausted."

The Queen reclined on Iona's bed and pulled her onto his lap.

"But my Queen, you've lost my place for me," Iona whined. She opened her book, flipped and skimmed for a moment, before slotting her kittens bookmark into place. She set her book on a nightstand.

"Now we talked about this, how we thought things might work as you learn to balance being Erik's mom and being my slave. His fever broke, Greta and Brenna have him occupied so you can have this break."

Iona relaxed into The Queen's embrace. "I am sorry, my Queen. I didn't imagine motherhood would be so tiring or that there'd be days I'd be so stressed that I have no desire for sex or BDSM at all."

The Queen took Iona's chin in hand and gently tilted her head so she looked up at his face. "I love you, Iona, my sweet slave, my darling lover, the most precious mother of my wonderful son. I guess maybe as dad I don't understand the depth of your worry but you've slept, Karl's been her to treat Erik, and I've just told you his fever broke. I appreciate your verbal apologies, but I still need to punish you physically."

"Yes, my Queen. I love you, my Queen." Her expression intriguingly combined equal parts awe and irritation. 

"Now, my Queen?"

"Yes, although I will let you choose: my hand or an implement you have in your room.

"Please, your hand, my Queen." Iona's lips remained parted.

"Tell me what level of punishment you think you deserve." He brushed his thumb back and forth over her lips.

Iona knitted her brow. "Um... twenty spanks on my ass then ten over my labia with my legs spread wide, my Queen?"

"Did my question make you think I was asking for such a level of specificity that I normally do not?" He kissed her, soft and warm, holding her tight against him. "Or were you saying what you think you'll need to feel okay?"

Iona trembled against The Queen. "I don't know, my Queen. Hell, use it as a guide if you please. Sometimes I'm glad you don't have specific punishments for specific infractions, but sometimes it might help." She pressed her face against his chest, hiding beneath his hair.

"Let us change positions here to a more traditional over-the-knee for those first twenty." The Queen continued in the soft, yet stern tone he'd been using.

Iona crawled off his lap and onto her bed. She fell back onto her haunches as she watched him scoot to the edge of the bed.

The Queen patted his lap. "Stretch yourself out." He licked his lips as she obeyed.

Iona stretched out her arms in front of her as if she was unsure what to do with them.

"Tell me what you did wrong." He laid his left hand on her wrists, confining them.

"What I did wrong," Iona murmured, her voice pitched as if the comment wasn't really for The Queen's ears. "I didn't look at your face when I was physically capable as I was talking to you, my Queen. I snapped at you, a few times." She paused, frowning deeply. "You were wonderfully mixing the roles of Master, lover, father and I was just a bitchy, overtired mom, regardless of the help you'd given."

"Okay, I think you got it." Without warm-up, without ordering Iona to counting, The Queen landed several spanks in rapid, harsh precision, his hand moving around her ass and thighs.

Iona whimpered. "Supposed to"

"No, I'm counting," The Queen interrupted through clenched teeth. He focused on her thighs, slapping until the light brown skin started to show the abuse. "I'm figuring out..." slap, slap, slap, "being a dad..." slap, slap, slap, "and supporting you as mom!" He paused, breathing hard. He rubbed his hand over her hot skin. "Even a vanilla mom would have looked at my face!" He slapped his hand repeatedly between her legs.

"I'm so sorry, my Queen." Iona broke into sobs as the spanking continued past her 20 suggested spanks.

The Queen spread his legs under Iona before flipping her over, her ass wedged in his thighs' grip. He gripped one leg and threw it wide, her foot brushing against the side of her bed. "Is not being in the mood for sex or BDSM activity a reason to be nasty at me?"

Iona blinked her eyes rapidly as she stared up at The Queen. "No, my Queen." Her lips trembled as fresh tears started down her cheeks.

The Queen cupped his hand and held it above Iona's wide spread labia. Punctuating his words with slaps, he lectured, "Do not use Erik as an excuse to be bitchy at me!"

"My... my Queen!" Iona screamed and moaned at the force of the blows.

He gathered her up in his arms, bringing her close to his chest, her head nestled against his neck. "Now this is what I wanted when I walked in here, just to hold you close. Did I miss some subtle female body language?"

"I guess, my Queen, that and I was out of line. After a moment, could we please go check on Erik?" Iona pressed a kiss against The Queen's neck.

"Yes, my sweet. In just a bit we will go see our boy."

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Mearr gets ready- Out of the Night: Book One excerpt

When Katherine Deane said she would like to visit next Sunday with her recent release "The Coach's Discipline," that left me thinking about today. I pondered an excerpt from "Out of the Night: Book One." What I have is a serial, not a series, and with that comes that knowledge that none of the books really tell a full story on their own. So before "Gates of the Garden: Book Two" releases in the next few months, I'm highly suggesting those who've enjoyed the characters from Vala's Story on my blog, that they should read "Night" before "Gates" comes out. Then I was left with what short of excerpt I wanted to share. I decided I wanted to share an interaction between Mearr/Vala the night The Queen brings her back to his Manhattan loft on the evening that she overdosed again.

"You know, one of the reasons I started doing drugs in the first place was just to feel normal in my own body. But I found I couldn't feel normal without them." She lifted her right leg up onto the counter and began to loosen the laces and buckles of her combat boots. "I can't remember the last time I took these things off," she murmured thoughtfully, easing a boot off. "Hell, I can't even remember the last time I got to do more than wash up in a public bath."

"Well, that is going to change," The Queen said as he worked on her other boot. "I am a firm believer in a bubble bath every day."

"Bubble bath?" She laughed. "I wouldn't picture you being into that. Little too soft."

The Queen smirked as he jerked her left boot off and threw it aside.

Mearr held her hands out to him. "Help me down please."

The Queen put his hands on Mearr's waist and lowered her to the floor on her feet.

She looked up at him. "Why today? Why did you come get me today?"

"Because when the call came that you had overdosed again," The Queen looked away for a moment, swallowed hard, before continuing, "I feared if I did not act today I might not get the chance to do so."

"But I didn't OD. I just did too much. And what call? Who called you?"

"A friend," he answered in a tone of voice that allowed no further discussion.

"Oh." Mearr grabbed the bottom of her tank top and began to lift it; The Queen took over part way to lift the shirt off her. She sucked in a deep breath. With careful movements she undid the button on the top of her leather pants and pulled the zipper down. Hands on the waist of her jeans, she looked up at him before quickly turning away.

"Please don't look at me. I'm disgusting," she whispered, her hands fanning across her stomach.

The Queen pulled her against him in a fierce hug. He brushed her hair back away from her face and with a stern finger pushed her chin up so she looked into his eyes. "You are incredibly beautiful and desirable. I want to help you..."

"Out of the Night: Book One" blurb:
Restless and world-weary, Mearr isn't about to admit she needs anyone's help, even this gorgeous man who has taken her into his home. Well one of his homes and part of this huge family she's heard about but not met all of. She's young, looks young, and knows it but at least she's legal now so she can pick a new name to go with her new life...

The Queen knows he wants Mearr bad, ever since the first time he saw her in the window of the coffeehouse. He has his plan, but even a Dominant's plans don't always survive the unpredictability of the future. He struggles to figure out this temperamental woman he's brought home, how best to help her. Then he takes her to his mansion...

They wait patiently for The Queen to bring Mearr home. Well to the home they've been redecorating for Him and for the hopes that she'll become part of their family and be trained to please Him. Simon and Tommy have seen her, of course, being The Queen's right and left hands; they say she'll be a perfect addition...

Please come along with Joelle on this journey, shared with the readers in serial fashion. A multitude of "Happily-ever-afters" are waiting with the completion of book 9.

Author's Note: This novel is meant for open-minded adults. Activities described include a wide range of BDSM and sexual activities, some of which are male/male, male/female, consensual slavery, oral/anal/vaginal intercourse, bondage. The story also covers some sensitive topics in characters' backstories, such as drug abuse.

Out of the Night: Book One (Vala's Story) print edition
available at Lulu.com's Market Place
available on Amazon.com

Out of the Night: Book One (Vala's Story)- Smashwords- multiple formats- https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/417778 . First 20% available as a free sample.

Out of the Night: Book One (Vala's Story)- MyAwesomeFans.com. Mobi, PDF, and ePub.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

#SeductiveSnS ... reviews of "Moon Chilled," "Dom with the Kink Monsters," and "A Little Too Broken"

Seductive Studs and Sirens... a blog hop for LGBT romance, erotica, and erotica romance... 150 words of love from a non-heterosexual perspective. Enjoy my post and then check out the other hoppers with the links below.

I enjoyed "Moon Chilled" by Caitlin Ricci, review here on Goodreads. A female/female paranormal romance involving werewolves. While there was no graphic sex, I still enjoyed the story. I gave it 4 stars out of 5, read my review to see my explanation. Here is were Caitlin visited my blog to promote the book.

I do so the polyamory, the various gender pairings in "The Badass Brats" series and in "The Dom with the Kink Monsters" written by Sorcha Black without her co-authors didn't disappoint, review here on Goodreads. If anything I loved some of the kinks (like knife play) that she did when she wrote on her own. MMFF. Yum!

And finally, "A Little Too Broken" by Brad Vance, review here on Goodreads. I was so happy to see the mention of the Wounded Warrior Project. This was a wonderful romance as well. 5 stars!

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Begging for it- being explicit- I share some sex :D

giggling at my first thought to put NCSF into my title... but am I ever safe for work? Unless you work in a non-mainstream work space? :D And nope, I didn't try for really good grammar here :D I was a brat

I wake in a bad mood- sad how a sex dream could do that. My ass in the air, got the spanking, the finger fucking, and then His dick in my asshole like I was hoping for. Too little hope, I know. It's been a hard last half a year.

Oh but Master was in the mood and then His fingers between my legs. Damned traitor body- yeah, already all wet 'cause my body says "TIME TO MAKE A BABY!" Why doesn't my stupid body realize that I may be 36, but Master and I are planning no late in life babies?

Gonna come! Gonna come again! He's using His fingers just right on my clit, in my cunt, pumping away until I'm writhing, body flying up off the bed. But I want... oh I want something... gotta get those words out.

The words catch in my throat- how do I talk with His fingers smashed against my clit? "Master... please I beg You... plug my ass while You do that... get my ass ready for Your cock... so You can slid in... fill me with Your cum! Please, Master!"

"Where'd all that come from?" He's laughing a bit, disbelief in His voice. "Aren't you enjoying this?

"Please, Master," I beg again. "Want more, Master. I know You want me to say want more, Master. Just trying to please..."

He kisses me hard as His hand moves over me, grabbing one of the butt plugs from the head board. The next moment, He's fucking my cunt with it, the thickest butt plug, the one that'll stretch me so His cock slides into my ass.

I can't keep still, I can't move. I'm so overwhelmed that what I begged for is what Master's doing. Sometime in the midst of all this, I'd finally moved my right hand to circle His cock, and the palm sliding up and down with His pre-cum pulls a double gasp out of me as the plug slides into my ass.

He's fingering me again, fingers jammed into my cunt before sliding over my clit. His mouth, His kisses are great as He keeps me coming.

"Please, fuck my cunt, Master!" I whimpered into His mouth. I hear teasing words, know I should respond, but "please fuck my cunt, Master!"

He rolls me onto my side, we're spooning now and then His cock thrusts into my cunt and it feels so good that I come again instantly, one of the deep vaginal orgasms that I love so much.

"Yes yes yes yes," I squeal, pushing back into Master, pushing His cock and the anal plug deeper into me. I'm all sensation and hearing His groans as He enjoys my cunt. Can't tell you how long, but then I pull the plug out of my ass, half a funny thought about not throwing it onto my stuffed dog on the floor beside the bed, before I'm guiding His cock into my asshole. "Fuck yeah, Master, You feel so good in my ass. Feel so good!" I catch the laughter in my throat- just a moment's "yeah, with His cock in my ass, I find my tongue."

He's all groans and thrusts- I know He's enjoying fucking my ass, His cock sliding in so hard and good.

I'm not even to begging for harder, I'm fucking back, coming. "Wanna feel You come in my ass, Master. Wanna feel You fill me with Your cum!" My arm flails as I grab for His thigh, His ass, the bed, sheets piling up under my grasping fingers. "Love You, Master. Love You. Your cock. Fuck. Love You, Master."

His grunts. He's feeling good too. Gonna come. Gonna fill my ass with His cum. He's pinching my nipples, roughing up my breasts. So good. Then His hand is pushing into my hip, holding me still as He fucks my asshole, taking the pleasure He needs to finish, to fill me with His cum.

I shudder with His grasp. I love being full of His cum. Glad I begged.

In erotic romance, so often the dominant just knows what the submissive wants, without her saying a word. So often he manages to give it to her, as if he's mind reader. And what he just takes what he wants, it's miraculously just what she wants too. That doesn't always work in real life though. My Master and I have had our issues, as happens, especially when two or more people have been in a relationship for a long time- 13-ish years for Master and I. I've been working hard on saying more of what I say because it pleases Him- I'd love to see more of the specificity in erotic romance.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

#WIPitupWednesday ... It is The Queen's cock- it is Vala's life

I had my fun last week and shared the different sort of excerpt from my WIP "Skipping Down the Primrose Path: Book Three" of my Vala's Story serial. This week, I'm sharing a portion of "the blowjob scene" that I teased about last week. Now at the beginning of "Skipping..." Vala introduces a "format" change in perfect Vala-bratting form. :D I don't write in regular chapters lol- so rather than something like "Chapter 3," you get "How I Adore Him." And just a bit a bratting of my own- this section started of as a "[Editor,] my POV does not include talking about cock size hardly at all. So let me write about Vala worshiping The Queen's cock without describing the size of his cock." While it might seem like I'm trying to redeem my bratting :D, I wanted to share you a link- this is part 2 of a series by Xanwest about writing for trans readers (I loved the whole series, but part 2 is relevant here)- ze puts forward the notion that talking about cock size is one thing that can kick a trans reader out of enjoying a story- I like to be inclusive.

How I Adore Him

Vala glanced up at The Queen. "My Queen?" she whispered.

"What, love?" The Queen kissed her forehead.

"If you don't have another lesson planned for me, or anything else." Vala licked her lips. "Um, might we go up to that room with the lovely canopy and might I go down on you, my Queen?" She batted her eyelashes at him. "I would very much love to suck on your cock until you come in my mouth, my Queen."

The Queen stroked Vala's hair, dragging large red curls into her line of sight before pushing them back again. "You want to pleasure me with your mouth?"

"Yes, please, my Queen," Vala begged. She pressed light kisses along his strong jaw. "Please, my Queen. I beg to make you come, my Queen." She studied his face, her lips parted. My gorgeous Master. Your beautiful blue eyes, I love them, you, my Queen. She pushed her arms under his, holding on to his chest.

"And why are you so intent on making me come, my baby girl?" The Queen kissed Vala's lips, his gaze soft.

"Because I love you, my Queen. And I love giving you pleasure, my Queen, especially when it's just about your pleasure." Vala trembled in The Queen's embrace. "Please, my Queen." I love the feel of your strength under my hands, my Queen.

"So you think the Opium den?"

"Still learning your mansion, but that does seem the most perfect spot to worship your gorgeous body, my Queen." Vala brushed her lips to The Queen's for a moment before boldly pulling his bottom lip into her mouth, sucking. "Please, my Queen," she murmured into his mouth.

The Queen placed Vala on the floor before standing. He lifted her and cradled her in his arms. "How could I resist such beautiful pleading?"

"Thank you, my Queen." Vala's attention shifted to between her legs. How can the idea of making him come, without any attention to my body, cause such arousal? She tightened her hold on his neck as he started up the stairs to the second floor.

"Since you begged the Opium den, do you beg candles? Or a specific type of incense?"

"Candles, yes please, instead of artificial light, my Queen. And maybe lavender, my Queen?"

"Like the first time I bathed you?" The roughness of The Queen's voice pulled on Vala's emotions and arousal.

"Yes, my Queen."

The Queen walked between the groupings of small play rooms and turned right.

"I love you, my Queen." Vala stared up at The Queen before closing her eyes, her face pressed against his neck.

"I love you too, baby girl." The Queen pushed the Opium den's door open. He placed her on her feet.

"Thank you, my Queen." Vala watched as The Queen crossed the room to the mattress with its silk canopy.

She grabbed a shiny metal candle lighter and got to work, lighting maybe a dozen candles. With the lighter back in its place, she then turned off the overhead light. Her gaze moved over the labeled glass jars full of incense sticks. "Lavender," she murmured when she located its jar. She grabbed a stick and placed one end into a candle flame. The Queen's groan startled her.

"I do so love to watch you in moments like this, when you are so focused on something other than me."

Vala studied The Queen's silhouette, his body obscured by the silk and the flickering candle light. "I'm glad it pleases you, my Queen. Did you have a preference on the number of sticks, my Queen?"

"No." The Queen's patient smile carried in his voice.

Vala turned back to the jars of incense and grabbed a handful of sticks from the lavender jar. She held these in a candle flame en masse. Her expression slid into a peaceful countenance as she blew out the tips of flame. She slid each stick into an empty incense burner before joining The Queen, kneeling beside the mattress. "My Queen," she murmured before shyly reaching out a shaking hand to touch his upper belly.

The Queen gasped at the contact. "Come here," he ordered even as he pulled her between the curtains and onto him, her legs parting to straddle his thighs. His fingers zipped over her body to remove her uniform, one by one the pieces dropping to the carpet. "There. I want to feel you."

"Yes, my Queen. Please let me worship your cock, give you every ounce of pleasure I can, my Queen. Please, my Queen." Vala dragged her lips down his neck and started to back up.

Sure, eventually Vala gets her mouth on The Queen's cock, but you'll have to wait until "Skipping Down the Primrose Path: Book Three" is published :D