This blog will contain...
...profanity, sexually explicit dialog andadult imagery.
If you are under 18 and/or offended by this...

Thanks fiona, from "Sir Q and Me" for the warning message that just makes me melt. :)

Thursday, March 27, 2014

What to do for punishment when pain is desired?

One thing I've often struggled with in BDSM, in real life, in erotica, in erotic romance is pain used for punishment. This can be something as simple as a spanking or as intense as a caning. Now I've never really gotten "pain for punishment," but over the years as I've gotten to more than 13 years with my Master, and we struggle with may things that long-term, married couples do, I wonder about it even more. He's currently injured- a mostly torn Achilles tendon and a minor blood clot- these things don't allow for much in the way of sex or BDSM to happen. I'm wanting that pain play even more now; I'm wanting something... a flogging, pressure point massage, a spanking, something... even more to help deal with my bipolar. A trip in the massage chair at the mall is a coveted thing for me currently.

So for me, pain receiving is definitely a want. My Master picking up a wooden back scratcher by His chair is not going to get me to stop doing something; instead, I'll keep doing whatever until He whacks me a few times with it. Now in His amusement and His limitations (from the injury), He's taken to throwing Bertie Botts jelly beans at me, making me eat them, as a punishment. I'm a big Jelly Belly fan- notwithstanding the CEO supporting various anti-LGBT legislation in California- so the idea of Bertie Botts- jelly beans made by jelly belly to be gross- yeah, it's horrifying lol.

While I enjoy humiliation in a lot of forms in fiction, much of it brought out into life doesn't make sense. Like corner time. Well even if my Master did spank my ass, I don't regularly wear underwear. There are no panties for Him to humiliatingly pull down to my knees, no panties for Him to leave at my ankles while I push my nose into the corner of a room. And from His perspective, He's told me that a bunch of the humiliation stuff like what you often see in BDSM porn just doesn't do anything for Him.

However we don't have a D/s relationship that involves a bunch of punishment; we never have. The focus for my Master and I has always been on mutual pleasure and "getting things done"- like my previous piece titled "When BDSM is about running the house."

Of course, pain, pleasure, sex, BDSM- all these things, my mind has been recently on what I want/need and what my Master wants/needs/is capable of- His injury has made the last one a real consideration. It lead me to thinking of a story in the book "Master/slave" http://www.amazon.com/Master-Slave-Spanking-Stinging-Bottom/dp/0425202690/ref=cm_rdp_product . There are 60 short stories in it, 30 from the Top perspective and 30 from the bottom. I want to mention one story here- I won't endeavor to explain too much because I've been avoiding reading it due to how close to home it hits currently- but there's this short story titled "Rituals" by Kate Dominic. I'll probably read it later tonight, when I try out the new vibrator I bought myself today (Master and I are currently limited to spooning and BJs and I've given myself half a dozen canker sores in my current stressing out). The story starts by the dom rolling his wheel chair into the bathroom (gods, how I hope that's not a part of my Master's recovery after He sees the orthopedic surgeon and some sort of decision is made about His leg). And from there, from this short story that I want to reconnect with later, I see a place where pain, punishment, pleasure, ritual, submission and a dozen other things collide. Just a thought. You'd think a submissive is who writes erotic romance could take care of herself :D.
Did you enjoy the time with the twins and their dommes on Monday? Well if you continue on to Stacey Price's blog, you can enjoy some snippets of them from "Out of the Night: Book One" and some more chances to win gift certificates to Blushing Books and All Romance Ebooks, or one of two free copies of "Out of the Night: Book One."


  1. Hi Joelle, I'm sorry about your Master's injury and hope he has a speedy recover, for both of your sakes. It's so hard when needs/wants are unable to be fully met.


    1. thanks, Roz, for your thoughts and your comment :) Well every day the appointment with the orthopedic surgeon gets closer- I think that's the hardest right now, the not knowing.