This blog will contain...
...profanity, sexually explicit dialog andadult imagery.
If you are under 18 and/or offended by this...

Thanks fiona, from "Sir Q and Me" for the warning message that just makes me melt. :)

Thursday, March 13, 2014

What is Aftercare?

Yesterday I shared a scene of The Queen and Simon tending to Vala and Tommy's aftercare following an intense BDSM interaction. Based on Tommy and Vala's needs as subs, established over the series, and how "hard core" the BDSM activity was, I produced aftercare that's pretty stereotypical. Sub wrapped in blankets, held by dom, sub being feed little foods and drink. Now I was amused to talk with other subs in a BDSM forum; one commented that she didn't want anything stereotypical and the other always wants cheeseburgers.

Those two comments bring to the discussion the importance of the Dom preparing for the possibility of what the sub will need and the discussion of what might be needed before the play. In the scene, Simon makes comments that show he prepared the food and drink and brought it to where The Queen planned to do the aftercare. For myself, I tend to be pretty stereotypical in my wants when my Master has taken me into sub-space; then I want blankets and cuddles. When the BDSM activity has been lighter though, the chance to serve Him (like get Him a rum-n-coke or food) that's what I want. Now part of aftercare is to limit "sub drop"- an almost depression like reaction many subs have after play. If you think on the endorphins often released by BDSM activities, this makes sense. There's also an intimacy that can be built (like in the scene I wrote), a time spent with the dom and sub connecting. Another important part of aftercare is for the Dom to make sure the sub is okay- check on marks, bruises, any bleeding, blood sugar (like feeding).


  1. It's always great to get your matter-of-fact perspective, Joelle. As someone who in actual life hasn't played that much, it's incredibly helpful.

    1. thanks for the comment, Emily :) In many ways, I find the use of plain language just preferable. Yes, I'll put in longer terms (like hetero-normative, for one) when it makes sense, but it doesn't always make sense. To me really aftercare should be self-explanatory- the care that is needed after a BDSM scene.