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WARNING

This blog will contain...
...profanity, sexually explicit dialog andadult imagery.
If you are under 18 and/or offended by this...
THIS IS NOT THE BLOG YOU ARE LOOKING FOR

Thanks fiona, from "Sir Q and Me" for the warning message that just makes me melt. :)

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

#Taboo2sday Why is talking about masturbation so taboo?

Are you ready for some challenging, taboo fiction? You never know what you'll find. Maybe 8 to 10 sentences of a taboo erotic book, maybe 100 words of a book review or a statement about a particular taboo. I dare you to consider each taboo participant's writing!



I'm going to do a little cross-blog hop writing here. I also participate in Masturbation Monday. I find even without religious injunctions against the activity, we are still uncomfortable admitting that people can find sexual release by themselves. One thing I most disliked in "Fifty Shades of Grey" was the idea that Anastasia had never masturbated; I didn't feel enough backstory was given to justify a 24 year old never having touched herself. Why are "we" so ashamed to admit we masturbate? It's something I've thought about as an erotic fiction author- I know some people will masturbate to what I write. I hope they enjoy themselves.


10 comments:

  1. Hi Joelle, it's funny how masturbation is so taboo. I didn't buy the idea that Ana had never indulged in 50 Shades either.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. thanks for the comment, Roz :) You know, and it's just the talking about masturbation even that's taboo. It's like, I'm not masturbating in front of you or describing it graphically, so why is saying "I masturbate" such a bad thing? Don't get it.

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  2. Hello Mrs Casteel, women especially find it embarrassing to admit to, as you say its taboo no decent woman of up bringing would even hint at it! But surely we have moved on - i learnt how to via watching one of the Emanuelle films, where she teaches another woman how to do it! Its not just good for when you're alone & need sexual relief but at certain times of the month its great for relieving cramps! LOL yes Ana as i've said before was an unbelievable character on so many levels!

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    1. Well putting on my sexuality educator hat, I think as long as we're using statements like you "... no decent woman of up bringing..." even as jokes, we're going to continue to have some taboo around the very act of masturbation. I think we need to be able to talk in mature, open ways because to me, saying "I masturbate" is not the same thing as inviting a person into my bed to watch me read erotica while I was my vibrator. In the same way we're still working toward people being able to say things like "I'm gay" without people thinking of what a gay person does in bed, I think we need to do that same work with masturbation, self love, self pleasure. One thing that struck me recently was Nina Hartley talking about how sad it is that people look to pornography for sexual education. Thanks for the comment, Clare

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    2. Dear Mrs Casteel,
      i guess sex in general is not talked about openly enough! But self pleasuring is a private thing, unless you are lucky enough to do it with or for a partner!
      http://hotelbentmooreinspiration.tumblr.com/post/111219092728
      Also have to agree with what Mrs Lesar said below, men can feel a major ego loss if you masturbate specially with a toy! Its like what i'm not enough for you & yet they will wank off & not think twice that the woman might feel hurt that she is not enough. Oh frigging is another term for masturbation - LOL pearl diving is also an old term for washing up if you worked in a hotel or cafe when my dad was in his 20s how terms change!

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    3. I don't know... it must be another level of what my Master said- "You're so far from the mainstream that you don't even know what it is." The notion of a guy being jealous over toys or the woman jealous over the guy masturbating- that simply has no place in my household. I can't relate at all to those feelings. Heck, Shaman and I watch porn together sometimes, although He knows I'm more into male/male BDSM and bears.

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  3. Hi Joelle, to my mind, it's all about self confidence. Some people do not like to talk about masturbating because to them, it suggests that their partner is not satisfying them sexually. In a strong relationship, nothing is taboo and talking together, strengthens that relationship and that is the key so success - to my mind anyway.

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    1. That is a good, although frustrating point, Lorraine. Sad that masturbation is taken as a sign a relationship is in trouble. Sure, there are times when obsessive masturbating or masturbating instead of partnered intimacy is one sign of a problem, but not always. Heck, with Shaman and I, because He's on 3rd shift and I live on 1st, intimate moments between Him and I happen when they do; we joke about His morning or mine- mine usually starts around 9am, His around 4 or 5pm. It was funny how my participation in the #MasturbationMonday hop and His seeing my promo for it one day got Him and I revisiting the masturbation talk. :D I told Him "I do sometimes, mostly to relax and sleep"- I sleep alone most nights. Thanks for the comment. You know, it's funny, I'm still pondering His question about slang terms for female masturbation- I just don't know any

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    2. Not sure about the US, but here in the UK, slang terminology would include - Diddle the skittle. Jill off. Air out the orchid. Pearl diving.

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    3. lol never heard pearl diving, but I'd read Jill off. Thanks for the cross-cultural education. :D I'm reading Chloe Thurlow's "Katie in Love" so my head's all filled with British English anyway :D and listening to The Cure, so I'm practically hearing stuff in what's normally accented English to me :D

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