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WARNING

This blog will contain...
...profanity, sexually explicit dialog andadult imagery.
If you are under 18 and/or offended by this...
THIS IS NOT THE BLOG YOU ARE LOOKING FOR

Thanks fiona, from "Sir Q and Me" for the warning message that just makes me melt. :)

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

#WIPiTuP draft of removed diary writing

Sharing WIPs (works in progress) can be so very fun! On this lovely blog hop, enjoy a bunch of authors sharing excerpts of what they're working on- get ready to add some great books to your TBR, once the author publishes :) Although occasionally you may find an author sharing a published work. Give 'em a break- these may just be roughly edited- but please do leave a comment! We authors like to know we're going in a good direction.



I decided this week to share a removed scene from my WIP "Skipping Down the Primrose Path: Book Three" of my Vala's Story serial. In "Skipping.."'s rewrite, this is one of a few scenes that got removed completely; the scene of Vala's diary writing introduction is so different know that rewriting this didn't make sense. I've kept this scenes because I'm hoping to be able to weave snippets of Vala's conversation with Chitra into future weeks' diary writing scenes.

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It's Writing Time!

The grandfather clock sounded five times.

Vala and Chitra sat cross-legged on the floor before Simon.

"Okay, Chitra, you know the drill. Get writing." Simon sat next to Vala. "Vala, here's your diary and a pen. Until your training's done, every Sunday evening before the clock strikes the fifth time you better be in this room, unless The Queen has other plans for you. You're to write anything that comes to mind about the week just completed. Don't think you can get by just writing a few sentences. The Queen and I will be reading the day's writing before going to sleep."

Chitra moved as if going into submissive pose, but kept her arms in front of her, one hand holding the pen while the other hand held the diary still.

"Yes, my Lord." Vala opened the notebook to the first page and flipped the cover around to the back. She looked at the piece of paper with her poem on it. Her pen rushed over the notebook page as she copied her poem for The Queen.

"You and Chitra are free to talk if you like. Just remember that if mouths are moving so should be pens."

"Yes, my Lord," Vala and Chitra replied.

Vala moved into the same position as Chitra, holding the pen in one hand, and gazed at the empty page she had turned to after copying in her poem.

"Vala, remember your special assignment. The Queen and I will be very displeased if you half-ass it."

Vala looked up from her diary at Simon. "Yes, my Lord."

Chitra and Vala wrote in silence for a few minutes, their pens dancing across the paper.

Chitra looked up from her diary, continuing to write, and asked Vala, "How has your first week been?"

Vala looked up at Chitra, touching her pen to her lips. "Um... difficult... but enjoyable."

Chitra paused writing for a moment, before she started writing again. "Your first week has been a lot more turbulent than mine was."

"What was your first week like?" Vala looked at her diary, wrote something, and looked up at Chitra.

"It was a very calm week, considering. I had a little experience with BDSM and coming into the stable was a slower process for me. Not months like you had though. Also, our Lady Kaya had described our Lady Mandisa to me, figuring if I joined the stable, I'd be given to her."

Vala nodded. She looked back to her diary and wrote for a few minutes before asking, "Is it hard? The training, I mean."

Chitra looked up, her face thoughtful, before smiling at Simon. With a hesitant tone to her voice, she replied, "It's been, at times. The Queen is more demanding than any of the few doms I'd played with. I'd never even played at a Master/slave dynamic like this before. But remember that our trainings won't be the same; I'm just being trained in what The Queen expects of a slave. I'll receive dom training some day, if The Queen pleases, but that'll happen at a significantly slower pace than it is for you."

"Also, The Queen is more involved with your training than he has been with Chitra's training." Simon sat on the floor in front of Vala and Chitra. "Mandisa is primarily in control of Chitra's training, with guidance from The Queen, regular check-ins with him."

Chitra looked up at Simon. "My Lord, I'm finished."

"How much did you write?" Simon picked up Chitra's diary and pen.

"Three pages, my Lord. My training has been a little lax this week with all the interruptions, my Lord."

"It's acceptable then. I will summon you to my bedroom some time tomorrow to discuss the entry with you. Ask Mandisa to tell me when would be a good time for her."

"Yes, my Lord." Chitra kissed Simon's feet before crawling out of the room.

Vala looked up from her diary to watch Chitra, Simon watching Vala out of the corner of his eye.

"Almost done?" Simon ran his hand down Vala's back.

"Pretty close, my Lord." Vala laid her pen on her bottom lip. "Just finishing my special assignment, my Lord."

"Good." Simon sat on the floor next to Vala. "After you are done, I'll take you back to Iona's room for the night. She plans to start talking with you about obedience games, though you'll not start that training until tomorrow."

"Yes, my Lord." Vala wrote a few sentences in her notebook, put the pen down, and closed the notebook. "I'm finished, my Lord."

"All right. Let's go to Iona's room then. You may walk with me." Simon helped Vala to stand and they walked to the bedroom wing.


12 comments:

  1. Enjoyed reading this Joelle, it gave me more insight into the workings of the stable and hierarchy.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. thanks for the comment, Roz :) It's scenes like this that I enjoy, showing workings without beating my reader over the head. I can't wait for December and to get back to work on Vala's Story, seeing what portion of this I can still use

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  2. My eyes clung to 'Obedience games'. Vala and Iona are so good together. I can't wait to see what kind of games she has in store for Vala. I'm also curious what her poem was about.

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    1. so trying again since I managed to push the wrong button and lost my first reply. thanks for the comment, Melody. Yes, quite a bit is coming in "Skipping..." (including obedience games, Vala's poem, and more time spent with Iona and Vala's relationship). I'm not sure if I'll try to pull the poem out into a snippet for this hop, but at the very least, but assured that "Skipping..." is with my BR who'll no doubt start it in December and I hope by no later than the end of January to have it to my editor

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  3. Great snippet! I love Vala stories! :-)

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    1. thanks for the comment, Meredith :) Vala can grow on one, even with the sometimes extreme places I take her sexually and BDSM-wise :D

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  4. What a great way to include the reader in conversation between the characters! I loved how Vala watched Chitra and Simon (out of the corner of his eye) watched Vala! I hope you can include pieces of this somewhere else. It would be a shame to lose it! :)

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    1. thanks for the comment, Shelly. Yes, there's definite material here, even if needing reshaped for a different point in Vala's training. I definitely love how now The Queen, Iona, Tommy, and Greta are present for the diary writing so it's a family moment in that way, but I do want to make sure to spend some time with Vala and Chitra writing together.

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  5. Mouths are moving so should pens - lovely words of encouragement. Great snippet.

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    1. thanks for the comment, Jaye :) It was fun to show Simon in his dominant glory here

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