If you aren't already familiar with the BDSM concept of "edge play," I want to send you over to the submissiveguide.com to read Luna KM's definitions of the phrase- http://www.submissiveguide.com/2011/08/what-is-edgeplay/ . Yes, edge play can be very risky. Given my personal focus, both IRL and in fiction, on "BDSM within relationships," edge play becomes a comforting show of trust within a committed relationship, which is how I feel since I find edge play to necessitate more trust than any other sort of BDSM activity. Of course, we don't all agree on what it is; I'm forever surprised on my blog when I share things that don't seem all that extreme to me, but get verbal tongues a-wagging.
Even before I started blogging as an author, however, I've had experiences where a person online felt they had the right to judge, to police my BDSM activities. I wasn't directly involved in one conversation although my Master did tell me after the fact. In a BDSM forum, He shared about our interest and enjoyment with knife play; we hadn't done a lot at this point. Some person felt the need to lecture Him about how He was being irresponsible, wasn't being SSC, how He wasn't being a good dominant etc etc. I didn't matter to this person that I'd been the one to beg for this play or that my Master with His history of martial arts and choreographed fighting had an idea what He was doing with me.
Okay, here's were I'm gonna break with being educational, with being politic. I've been over-thinking this all day and not managing to write it. As you can imagine from the previous paragraph, I enjoy quite a few things that are considered edge play. Whether that's my Master pinning my hands above my head and practically fucking my face into the wall "until the drywall cracked" (yes, His words as He was enjoying talking about what we did the other morning) or I'm fantasizing what it would be like if He wasn't squicked by enema play and He'd willingly engage in something like my "enema for ownership" scene done with Vala's Story characters, I love BDSM activities that are outside the mainstream, outside what the (to me) silly little kits at Spencer's include.
Most importantly to me, I have never once questioned if it meant my Master does not love me because He agrees to be on the giving end of some edge play activities- like the knife play we've enjoyed in the past that was part of the inspiration for a knife play scene The Queen and Vala engaged in. I know He loves me- He not only tells me it in words, but by working hard to keep a roof over my teen's and my heads, by making sure I eat (recovering anorexic and hypoglycemic), and in dozens of other ways that happen in a long term relationship. I'm not living a domestic abuse meme; I entered the BDSM lifestyle knowing what I wanted, which happens to include sensation play, among tons of other BDSM activities.
Now I feel the need to swing back away from myself. While I talk about my Master's unusual training- martial arts and choreographed fighting, the latter which no doubt helped Him in the mindfuck part of the scene- that He spun into the ability to do knife play safely with me, edge play normally does require more training. This can start with things like getting basic first aid training from the Red Cross or a similar local organization. I'm at a loss on any specifics books to recommend that are how-tos on various edge play things- like knife play, breath play, ageplay, medical play- and part of me wants to say "ask at your local munch," but goodness knows how "local munch" can radically differ- for instance, what I find at a local munch in super conservative, almost rural Michigan and more progressive cities like Boston, NYC, or San Francisco. Also, don't be afraid to seek education in unusual places. Beyond the martial arts and choreographed fighting, my Master also brings significant understanding to our BDSM activities from His enjoyment in roleplaying; He jokes that He started playing D&D before it was even called that.