Warning

WARNING

This blog will contain...
...profanity, sexually explicit dialog andadult imagery.
If you are under 18 and/or offended by this...
THIS IS NOT THE BLOG YOU ARE LOOKING FOR

Thanks fiona, from "Sir Q and Me" for the warning message that just makes me melt. :)

Friday, July 11, 2014

#BDSMHop ... Assumptions of protocol with a (my) Master/slave relationship

I'm skipping Saturday Spankings this weekend- not sure yet about Seductive Studs and Sirens- but if you're reading this post after 10pm EST, you can use this link to get to #SatSpanks' list of posters. Below are the links for my fellow BDSM Blog Hoppers.



Regardless of the level of experience with BDSM of the person with whom I'm speaking, it always seems that once I've used the words "my Master" that a whole bunch of assumptions come into play. I'm sure if you search online- "Master/slave BDSM"- you'll get dozens of articles (if you're willing to search among the porn videos that is :D). Some of them will even be quality articles, at least from my perspective. Like if you go to www.submissiveguide.com . At this stage in my BDSM life (I do have 21 years experience as a submissive now), I read much less than I used to, but that is one place I enjoy reading articles and I'll tell you why- less assumptions.

So I call my dominant "Master." That seems to put me in the realms of BDSM erotica, of the "totalpower exchange," without asking me what any of this means in my day to day reality. Nope, I don't live in a BDSM book; I live in a world where there are things to do, I sometimes get sick (including hellish periods during which my Master's most likely order is "lay down and go to sleep. lol), and my Master doesn't always know exactly what I need to make me feel like a "true submissive."

Two assumptions that have made me laugh the hardest... one "BDSM friend" assumed my use of "Master" when talking about my dominant meant that I lived a level of M/s where I was always naked. I do live "clothing optional," but I'm not a hard core nudist, nor does my Master actually control my clothing or lack there of. Beyond the occasional "That's a horrible outfit- if you want to go out with me, change into something else!" Then another friend commented about how he couldn't picture me as a submissive (he'd never seen me with my Master) because I'm so decisive in my decision-making. Well I don't have to ask permission for every little thing.

And we get into that word, protocol, that I mention in my title. Based on the descriptions of low, medium, and high protocol that I've found online, I'd say my Master and I are low protocol. It seems, especially online, that a person seeing a M/s dynamic assumes a TPE with a high protocol life. Well my Master doesn't want high protocol and if we're talking about what He wants- we should be, right, since I begged for a Master/slave dynamic when I begged His collar- how would it be right to have high protocol if that's not what He wants? Maybe not using those exact words, but I've asked that basic question of quite a few people online after they'd made their wrong assumption. Funny, but they never have an answer.

A little laugh for you the reader- I'll read some really good BDSM erotica that really strikes a nerve with me and I'm thinking of protocol and rituals (I keep returning to various articles about ritual on Submissive Guide after reading "Healing Hark" by Dakota Trace and wanting rituals where there aren't that many in my relationship with my Master)... and I'll start asking my Master for permission... for everything and anything. It'll get to the point where He'll gripe that I'm asking for permission too often, for what He sees as silly little things. Then I'll be reminded that regardless of what online articles say about Master/slave relationships, my Master has His wants and they don't look like a high protocol BDSM story or relationship. Then I'll go write some more protocols into a story of mine. :D


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