This blog will contain...
...profanity, sexually explicit dialog andadult imagery.
If you are under 18 and/or offended by this...

Thanks fiona, from "Sir Q and Me" for the warning message that just makes me melt. :)

Monday, July 7, 2014

Adan and Ailin begin to question

Indulge me :D I'm getting there, really I am. So for those just joining in for the BDSM blog hop, I hadn't specifically meant this to be a blog hop post; I started this back story journey with my Irish fraternal twins last week. They are minor characters in my Vala's Story serial, but I've found some readers have focused on various taboos around the twins. As in my mind I pictured them as Northern Irish Catholic taking the time to get from there to Unitarian Universalist pagans living in a polyamorous, BDSM relationship, I thought it'd be fun to see how they got there. Now not having been raised Catholic or Irish, any errors are completely my own from trying to guess at, piece together from what I can find online.

Tomorrow I'll be taking part in the Taboo Tuesday hop as well and hope to have a more active mixture of BDSM and sex to share people coming from the hop. But regardless, please enjoy the twins further along their journey to BDSM submissives.

Off to Catholic university, on scholarship so they're on campus, away from family... 20 years of age...

"I like this ASL." Adan took Ailin's hand in hers as they crossed the large grassy space of the quad.

Ailin grinned and moved their hands in the ASL for "yes."

They paused to watch a bumper sticker-covered economy car hurry down the street.

Ailin leaned close to Adan and began to whisper, "What if the Pope is wrong? What if gay people really are okay? What if they aren't going to hell?"

Adan covered her mouth, holding her gasp in with her hand.

"What if everything we've been taught about God, religion, moral behavior is wrong?"

"Maybe not everything, brother. Come with me to my dorm. I have a pamphlet to show you." Adan's shock relaxed off her face. "Your hair is getting long. You'll be pushing at the dress code soon."

Ailin laughed. "If a teacher notices, I'll get it cut. Anyway most of the philosophy professors are less strict."

Adan laughed, the sound a tinkling approximation of Ailin's laughter. "Such a one, philosophy degree. And what will you do with it now?"

Ailin shrugged. "I'll get me a good wife."

Adan rolled her eyes. "You'll find that when I decide to become an Ursuline."

"Whisht! I'll find a good wife here I bet."
Adan unlocked her door. "The pamphlet comes from a Catholic group now." She leaned close to Ailin and whispered, "They disagree with the Pope. They think gay people can still be good Catholics."

"Oh?" Ailin sat in the desk chair. "Where's Tonya?"

Adan glanced at her roommate's empty bed. "Supper." She laughed. "Funny the old speech things that slip through. Though did you know in the south, many still use supper?"

Ailin accepted a glossy, folded piece of paper from Adan. "There's so much variety in American English." He opened the paper. He read quietly for a moment.

Sitting on the edge of her bed, Adan removed her Mary Janes, sighing with relief at her stocking feet on the cool floor.

He lifted his gaze to her face. He quickly signed, "Gay Catholic?"

"Saturday after Mass," Adan signed back, the sign for "Mass" having been part of that day's lesson.

"Wanna grab a bite?" Ailin folded the pamphlet neatly and slid it between the pages of Adan's Bible. He grinned. "It's corned beef and cabbage tonight."

"But I just took off my shoes." Adan sighed dramatically. "I guess I'll put them back. Grab me a Cardigan from the wardrobe?"

Ailin moved to Adan's closet. "Why'd you take the pamphlet?"

Adan paused in refastening one shoe. "Um." She lifted her hands and frowning, signed, "Daydreaming, pretty girl in class."

It was Ailin's turn to be the shocked twin in that moment.

Saturday evening...

Ailin reached for Adan's hand as they walked out of the community center.

"What do you think?" Adan accepted Ailin's hand, their fingers linked.

"On one hand, it makes sense, but like I asked on the quad the other day, it questions everything we've learned." Ailin glanced at their hands. "Let's go to the diner there just outside the campus."

"But what of the lesbian couple?" Adan shivered. "They can't have children... ever. Why didn't they just become sisters?"

"They answered that, sister. There are so many children that need adopted." Ailin held the diner door open for Adan. "What about that pretty girl you noticed in your class? Would you accept living in celibacy with her in a convent? Would that be enough for you?"

Adan frowned.

Ailin squeezed Adan's hand. "The sign says we seat ourselves."

"But what will Mam say? Don't want to go to hell," Adan whispered ferociously.

"I think we need to read these books Father Tom lent us. We don't have to tell Mam and Dad anything yet." Ailin brushed his finger over the cover of the top book.

"Coming Out to God: Prayers for Lesbians and Gay Men, Their Families and Friends by Chris Glaser," Adan read aloud. "I'd like that book first."

"Sure and I'll start with Both Feet Firmly Planted in Midair: My Spiritual Journey by John McNeill." He continued to look at the book before him. "Do you think"

"I could be gay?" Adan finished.

The twins mirrored each other, trembling hands covering their mouths.

"Remember the one woman spoke about being bisexual," Ailin whispered.

"Bi?" Adan signed.

Adan lit the candle at the altar. As she watched the flame, she whispered, "O my God, I am heartfully sorry for having offended thee, and I detest all my sins because of Thy just punishment, but most of all because I have offended Thee my God, Who is all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more, and to avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen." A tear slipped down her cheek.

"Child, can I help you?" a priest unknown to Adan asked?

"I'm questioning so much and I'm not sure I know what's right anymore."

"Would you like to offer your confession?"

"Please, Father." Adan followed the priest to the confessional booth and entered her side. She settled into the seat before making the sign of the Cross over herself. "Forgive me Father for I have sinned."

"How have you sinned, my child?"

Adan swallowed hard. "I had impure thoughts about a girl in one class and I've been reading stuff from a group that thinks you can be Catholic and gay."

The priest's gentle voice came through the lattice. "Did you act on the thoughts, about the girl?"

"No, but I wanted to."

"I'm more concerned about the group actually. Are you talking about Dignity?"

"Yes, Father." Adan twiddled her fingers nervously on her lap.

"The Archbishop says that Dignity teaches heresy." The priest cleared his throat. "Do you want to get married?"

"Yes, some day, Father. After I've finished student teaching."

"Child, be at peace. I want you to spend time in praying the rosary, join a young person's group that encourages appropriate social interaction between unmarried men and women. And don't read anything more from Dignity."

"Yes, Father. Thanks, Father." Adan made the sign of the Cross over herself again and ran out of the church. "But I promised Ailin I'll go next week," she whispered to herself.

And now for a bit of sharing. I'd actually talked to a friend's girlfriend at a gaming store who said she wished she'd known about DignityUSA sooner and was happy I mentioned the group as she helped me brainstorm. Here's their website: http://www.dignityusa.org/ . Now I didn't read enough on their website to know if they'd talk about people being GLBT, interested in kink, and Catholic, but it's certainly a start. I found the book titles the twins borrow from Father Tom in their recommended reading section and below is the complete book information.

Coming Out to God: Prayers for Lesbians and Gay Men, Their Families and Friends. Chris Glaser. Westminster John Knox Press, 1991.
Both Feet Firmly Planted in Midair: My Spiritual Journey. John McNeill. Westminster John Knox Press, 1998.

And finally- which twin do you think might decide to have sex first? :D


  1. I found this interesting Joelle, I didn't know about Dignity or the books. Thank you for sharing.


    1. thanks for the comment, Roz. I almost wish I would have thought to mention DignityUSA during HAHAT. I'd had passing knowledge of the organization from hearing about it at PFLAG, but not being Catholic, I'd never thought to look up the group. But it seemed like it would be an important step in getting the twins from their upbringing to where I have them in Vala's Story.