|Master threatened to write "I love you" in Sharpie on me recently :D|
Love is a complex subject any time, but adding a different sort of sexuality makes it even more so. Coming from BDSM (lifestyle and erotica) my perspective is very different from many spanking romance writers. Around the subject of love, I've found a lot of misunderstandings and stereotypes about any form of TTWD. One myth that always gets me shaking my head is "I could never hit *her*- I love her too much." This most often said by the straight man about the idea of dominating a girlfriend/wife. Snorts, so what if *she* wants/needs BDSM activity including different types of hitting? Right now as my Master and I struggle to deal with what life has thrown at us, I'm suffering because He hasn't been hitting me as much. Then I struggle somewhat with the domestic discipline notion of the Head of the Household spanking the Taken in Hand partner because "he loves her so much." Sometimes I do have a bit of a struggle coming to gripes with the level of control in a DD relationship; by comparison to my own low protocol BDSM relationship, many fictional DD relationships seem over the top to me. That in and of itself makes me step back with a "not my kink, but I shouldn't judge it if it works for them." Sadly I must admit that I find myself going through the couple's list of "no"s. With each no- "no swearing" always makes me roll my eyes- I consider if my Master cares, has a rule about whatever the "no" is. But even if I don't care for the form of relationship that might typify a DD relationship, I see and respect the consent in a way that I find "vanilla" people don't- "they" don't see what is a very loving relationship.