You hold me tight, Your fingers no longer pinching.
I enjoy the sound of Your breathing.
You remove the cuffs; I giggle as You toss them somewhere.
"Brat!" You slap my chest, cutting off my giggles.
"Sorry, Master," I groan. "I should move off You." Still shaking, I lift myself off Your cock- we both whimper at the separation- before lowering myself to the bed beside You. I turn my head to press my cheek to Your chest, closing my eyes as Your steady heartbeat comes into me.
"Let's rinse off." You struggle to sitting; I bite my lip, hoping You hadn't hurt Yourself with the sex we just had.
I hurry ahead, to go to the bathroom quick, and then start the water. A moment to clip my hair up and I hop into the shower. I stick a tentative hand out and find the water already heated up. My legs are still shaky. I lean against the wall under the falling water. I pull my bottom lip between my teeth when the curtain shifts, announcing Your arrival.
You wrap one arm around my chest. "Don't push back."
I groan at the sensation of Your warm piss hitting my lower back. I breath in, wondering if I still need to beg to come because I'm instantly ready again.
Your arm tightens around me; I shudder against You. "Crazy lady."
"Yes, Master." I keep my eyes closed as You move me in a slow circle, holding me still for the water to beat against my ass.
"Go ahead and dry off. I'll be there in a moment."
"Yes, Master." I step out of the shower onto the rug, feeling unsteady. Quick work with a towel, my hair released, and my shaking body I get back into bed. Bed clothes tossed with our movements, the warmth of Your body still running the length of the bed.
The water shutting off makes the quiet in the house ring.
I cuddle under the covers and close my eyes.
"Ready for sleep?" Your voice is sudden.
I must have drifted off. "Yes, Master."
"You sound contented."
"Yes, thanks, Master." I sigh at the soft rubbing of Your hand over my back.
I wanna die.
Why is this the thought that greets me first thing when I wake? Good ass-fucking. Lovely orgasms. Master pissing on me.
I take stock of aches, echoes of pleasure.
I wanna die.
I shouldn't be overwhelmed. Dishes need cleaned; I doubt teen did them like I told him too. Chyna will need to potty soon. How late did I sleep in? Are those birds singing? Fucking birds.
I wanna die.
Laundry is backed up too. And there's promo to do. Gotta promote since this is just Monday fiction, not viewed as often as any of the hops. But why? Do I just suck that much at writing? Am I too weird? Push too many taboos?
I'm still in bed. No Shaman here. It's gotta be early if He hasn't come to bed yet. Fucking meds. Can't even sleep with Him because those fucking meds fuck up His sleep schedule so bad.
Stop. Why am I listing my stresses? He was in the mood; I managed to be in the mood and then really got to enjoy. He even pushed me into subspace with that lovely mixture of pain, pleasure, and begging.
No Shaman in bed. All by myself. Unless You count Pongo fallen onto His pillow and Ostara beside me. Fuck. I'm counting stuffed dogs.
I wanna die.
No, time to get up. Shower for real, with soap and stuff, get dressed. Then there's everything I have to do.
I sit in my armchair with a wince. The racing thoughts in my brain pause. That was nice.
"Aren't you supposed to feel better the day after I fuck your ass? Your expression is scary."
I look up to find You closing up Your computer and placing it on the floor in front of Your recliner.
"Yes, Master." I paused in starting my day of Internet interaction.
I struggle to my feet. I walk around the piles of things, trying not to notice too much all the cleaning I need to do in this room.
"I was just about to come cuddle with you."
I bite my bottom lip. Not going to feel bad.
But how do I stop this guilt?
"Come here," You repeat.
Trying to climb onto Your lap makes me extra nervous now, with Your injured leg, that blood clot that could break off and kill You at any moment. I settle in, my ass falling between Your legs, my head against Your shoulder. I sigh at Your warmth, Your arms wrapping around me.
"Did I get up too quick that you're all crazy this morning? Or is this just normal crazy?"
I don't know, Master." I sniffle. I don't want to start crying and freak You out. I focus on the security of
Your body, Your breathing. I grow warmer as You tuck the comforter around us. My racing heart beat starts to slow just a bit.
You kiss my forehead. "So let's try this again. Any reason you're already angry this early in the day?"
"I just woke up and thought of everything I need to do today." I wetted my lips. "He didn't do the dishes, did he?"
"I'm not sure when he went to bed- I must have dozed in my chair- but I never heard him turn on the water. But just do one thing at a time and don't worry so much."
We sit in silence for a bit.
"If I go to bed now, which Joelle will I find when I get up? Will you still be pissed off?"
"I'm not pissed off now, Master. Just frustrated."
"You're relaxing now. I just need to hold you like a little girl?"
I laughed. "I guess, Master. Thanks."
I sit in front of my computer again. Messenger is firing up.
annikkawoods: how's your day?
shamansslave: crazy. I should have woken up wonderful because Shaman and I had a real good time last night that He initiated, but instead I woke to "i wanna die" as my first thought. sighs. I wish I knew it if was subdrop, my bipolar, or what the fuck is wrong with me
shamansslave: but Shaman held me awhile and I guess I'm feeling better
annikkawoods: I'd guess it's subdrop then 'cause your moods normally aren't fixed just by him holding you
shamansslave: I guess. maybe He'll be up to it again tonight. i hope