This blog will contain...
...profanity, sexually explicit dialog andadult imagery.
If you are under 18 and/or offended by this...

Thanks fiona, from "Sir Q and Me" for the warning message that just makes me melt. :)

Friday, April 11, 2014

Jolynn Raymond visits my blog to talk about her book "Taken in Hand"

Taken in Hand:
A Guide to Domestic Discipline,
Power Exchange Relationships, and other related BDSM Topics


Jolynn Raymond has written a book that shares the details of her own long lasting domestic discipline marriage and her experience surrounding power exchange relationships. It explains why these unconventional relationships work so well for so many couples. The book is an in-depth tutorial that takes the relationship past the simple act of discipline, to building a rock solid foundation that will ultimately create a deep bond of trust and love between those involved.

Taken In Hand will guide those interested in adding consensual domestic discipline, dominance and submission, and structure to their own relationship through the initial steps of communication, understanding and discovering both partner’s needs, creating mutual and realistic expectations, rules, and consequences, to the inevitable first spanking.

Taken In Hand will prove useful to those just starting out, as well as to those with some experience, as Ms. Raymond outlines the pitfalls, difficulties, and successes she has encountered in her own marriage. She also emphasizes the importance of consent, and pays special attention to the fine line between discipline and abuse.

The last part of the book examines the styles and types of spanking, gives an anal sex tutorial, talks about the responsibilities or being a dominant and gives tips for the submissive partner. Whether you need insight into BDSM as it relates to relationships or are trying to build a domestic discipline marriage from scratch, Taken In Hand will prove to be a comprehensive and practical guide.


When people pick up an advice book they often wonder what makes the author knowledgeable enough to write about a subject. While I don’t have a psychology degree that grants insight into how people react and what makes them tick, I do have a job that requires me to be well schooled in behavior modification and human nature. I have been the head of my household in loving DD relationships for close to fifteen years. Simply put, I know what works. Much has been fined tuned after trial and error, and different relationships have made it clear that a cookie cutter approach can’t be relied upon. Each couple who ventures into DD, or power exchange, is different, and therefore the structure of the relationship must be created specifically for each couple. The approaches in this book are guides to build the foundation of a healthy relationship, as well as providing suggestions for when things seem to go off track.

The subjects of this book are often geared towards the dominant or head of the household in the relationship, but the submissive or the one who is taken in hand in a power exchange relationship can learn about how best to establish a domestic discipline lifestyle as well. There are safety tips, cautions about the wrong kind of people projecting themselves as dominants, and guidelines I have set for my submissive wife contained within these pages.

My qualification to write a Domestic Discipline and BDSM tutorial comes from reading, experiencing trial and error in my own relationships, and being active in BDSM and the kink community for quite a few years. In that time I have learned techniques, been schooled in protocol, have immersed myself in the kink community and the wealth of information it provides, as well as establishing good relationships with those in the community who are ethical leaders. I observe, have conversations, attend seminars and conventions, ask questions, and go forward with the attitude that one should never stop learning.

I have found the love of my life and we have a happy and fulfilling domestic discipline relationship. I never want that to change. We will grow and evolve as a couple, but it is my hope that through communication, discipline, trust, and love, my wife will always be by my side. Relationships that don’t grow become stagnant. Ones that take a proactive stance to have a set plan to maintain a solid structure, and a system of accountability, discipline, and forgiveness, can provide the stability it takes to weather the stressors of life.

My views are often lofty and serious, for I believe that one must always be well informed and put their partner first. This view is not always well received, and I have been in many debates concerning the treatment of those who are submissive. BDSM doesn’t have to be serious stuff as long as there is respect and consent for everyone. At times I am known to get very ridiculous when I play. What those of us who are into BDSM do for recreation is supposed to be fun and enjoyable. I’m all for that, as long as the dominant or top in a scene has the best interest of the submissive or bottom at heart. There is more to spanking and flogging than simply hitting someone, and more to being dominant or submissive than ordering someone about or doing everything you’re told.


I’m a strong, bold, and passionate woman who does her best to live out her dreams. I’m having the best years of my life right now, and have discovered my true self in my kinky lifestyle. I’m a wife, Mistress, writer, lesbian, and grandma with a devious imagination and a taste for darkness.
My love of writing began in my early 30s and has been a passion ever since. I love to read, write, travel the world, and am a history buff. My genre’s cover historical romance, often with a spicy kinky twist to suspenseful paranormal thrillers. My love of history makes its presence in the books I write. They are often set in centuries past. I am a lover of art, architecture, and the study of diverse world cultures and have traveled to many places.

 I still reside in the city I grew up and live near my childhood home with the love of my life, my two spoiled cats, Niles the wonder Dog, and our gnome, Gerome. I have been involved in the BDSM lifestyle for over ten years, and am active in the kink community. My BDSM and power exchange relationships have always been loving and committed. I am married and we practice kink and BDSM within our marriage.


Taken In Hand buy link 

Jolynn Raymond’s Dark Obsessions: http://jolynnraymond.com
Dark Obsessions is an informational/educational BDSM Forum
My fan page on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JolynnRaymond
Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JolynnRaymond


  1. Thank you Joelle for hosting me today. You know I always want to spread the word on safe sane and consensual kink. I'll see you on Saturday Spanks.

    1. You're welcome, Jolynn. Here's hoping this post gets extra traffic from Saturday Spanks :) But I do think BDSM education is so important- it's one of those things I miss from the idea of the Old Guard culture; I've been reading a bunch about the Old Guard for a plot line in my serial. sometimes I wonder what it'd be like in a larger city; the local munches really can't support any sort of educational program.

  2. Hi ladies, this sounds interesting. I enjoyed the excerpt and like what you said about there being no cookie cutter, one size fits all approach to DD/ttwd. No two relationships are the same. Thanks for hosting Joelle.


    1. yes, that is so important to me, Roz, what Jolynn had to say about no cookie cutter. If only more people saw that :) And you know me, Roz :D I love hosting people :D thanks for the comment

  3. Nice insight and sharing of ideals and ideas for the novice and the seasoned too... Should be must reading for us all...

    Thanks Jolynn for sharing and Thanks Joelle for hosting...

    1. thanks for the comment, Joseph. Jolynn's book definitely sounds like a great book to me, in a field of books I find so-so