Master, please treat this like a short answer test :D Rather than continue to babble at You with my irritations and "huh?" moments as I read various spanking fiction, I thought I'd get Your answers to some questions and blog about it. My transcription of His answers is in italics.
1) Master, what does the phrase "lady like" mean to You?
more demure, softer, quieter, doesn't necessarily mean dresses though
2) Would You like me to be more "lady like"?
no, maybe, undecided- said to me with a furrowed forehead
3) Whether or not You've specifically mentioned it before, Master, do You have a preference for me to be wearing panties or not?
maybe when you wear short skirts. maybe
4) What do You think of my swearing, Master?
"sometimes you put drunken sailors to shame"
5) Can You explain Your thoughts on me wearing more modest clothing versus wearing clothes that are more provocative or showing more skin?
"dressing to cause a fight." Sometimes I'd rather not go when you dress so outrageously- like the heart pants.
So above you have some questions I asked my Master and my attempt to capture His answers when we were talking over the questions. Of course this adds to, is part of where my frustration with the notion of "lady like" in much domestic discipline fiction. While I joke that our marriage can almost seem like a '50s fetish, it really isn't and my Master's idea of lady like or His desires for my comportment aren't stuck on the 1950s either. Notice in His reply to the first question, lady like doesn't mean you have to wear a dress. Actually I think it's fair to say His preference is for a pair of fitted jeans- not too tight that they hurt or too baggy- just fitted. And yeah, sometimes I get swearing a lot- as if cracked to our teen "What do you expect of a mother who listens to more rap and heavy metal than you do? :D"
Yes, I've went through periods of dressing more modestly, but it was never about what pleased my Master. For a long time, I hated my body so much because of my over-large breasts that kept me in constant, chronic neck/shoulder/back pain. I preferred big clothes that didn't bring notice to "those nasty sacks of fat"- yup, my nickname for my breasts. Then for a time when I was trying to find a place in the local homeschool community- where being an atheist and politically, socially liberal where things to hide. After I get my breast reductive, bringing me down to a tolerable B/C cup, my Master ordered me to get rid of many of those large, over-sized dresses and skirts, outfits that made it impossible to tell my shape. I still struggle with my weight and I'm unhappy with it, so I've bought some larger jeans, some skirts. I don't wear them as often as I used to, so He doesn't complain. Actually now my game is to see how I can push Him with my "teen" clothes- wearing things like tights with multi-colored hearts on them- yes, He's looked at me, said "You look like Rainbow Bright. Go change if you want me to take you anywhere." LOL
The swearing thing. I can't imagine a spanking or mouth soaping or anything from spanking fiction for that. The one big thing- swear like I may at home, I'm generally pretty good about "don't swear here." Like in front of my mother-in-law. Nope, I don't think I could bring myself to swear in front of that sweet old lady. But even in my fiction... where many others in erotic romance, whether they are writing for the spanking/DD or BDSM fans, will use softer words- core, center, maybe even pussy- my word choice tends to be harsh. I like ass, asshole, fuck, cunt, and the like.
So yeah. Lady like. I don't get it. My Master only asks for as much as He asks, and it rarely reminds me of the proper behavior expected in DD fiction.